


heavenly fire

by skaigrey



Category: The Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Alcohol, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Bad Parents, Cartels, Consensual Underage Sex, Cunnilingus, Drug Cartel, F/M, Fellatio, Friends With Benefits, Jealous Jace Wayland, Kidnapping, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Protective Clary Fray, Protective Jace Wayland, Recreational Drug Use, Sexual Content, Skipping Class, These two crazy kids, if you have a gut feeling listen to it, slightly ooc clary, teen parties, unspoken feelings lead to misunderstandings
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-07
Updated: 2020-08-10
Packaged: 2021-03-02 03:15:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 4
Words: 22,686
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23528251
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/skaigrey/pseuds/skaigrey
Summary: heavenly fire is the term clary would use to describe that intense burning that courses through her veins whenever she so much as thinks about jace and what she would like him to do to her.
Relationships: Alec Lightwood & Isabelle Lightwood & Jace Wayland, Clary Fray & Isabelle Lightwood, Clary Fray & Jace Wayland, Clary Fray & Jonathan Christopher Morgenstern | Sebastian Verlac, Clary Fray/Jace Wayland, Jonathan Christopher Morgenstern | Sebastian Verlac & Jace Wayland, Minor or Background Relationship(s)
Comments: 16
Kudos: 64





	1. not a little girl

**Author's Note:**

> the lack of clace fanfic makes my little heart hurt. 
> 
> here you go.

Clary Morgenstern was supremely _annoyed_. Jace Herondale, was currently being a pest by not allowing Clary a drink from the insane table set up at the party they were currently at. Or, better put, the party Clary was not supposed to be at. Despite the party being hosted at _her house_ by _her brothers_ , Clary was not allowed to partake in the festivities. Honestly, that twerking contest looked fun. Jonathan and Sebastian were the worst people on the planet as far as their baby sister was concerned. 

“C’mon Jace,” Clary whined as she stamped her foot, “ it’s only one drink and I’ll go straight to my room, scouts honor.” Having been tossed in her room at ten by her brothers, Clary was irritated and in the mood to piss them off. She had made the intelligent choice of slipping down the main staircase and into the throngs of a 90’s teen movie in nothing but a black tank top, tiny grey shorts and a white satin robe that Isabelle had gotten her for Christmas last year. On her feet were what many would call jesus sandals. 

Jace Herondale, her life-long friend and love of her life (yet he didn’t know it), had caught her at the drink table just as she finished swirling her straw around her perfectly mixed drink. 

Jace opened his mouth, most likely to deny Clary, but was cut off when a vibrant vanilla scented girl barreled into him and nearly knocked him over. Isabelle Lightwood, obviously drunk, regained her balance and swung her arm around Clary’s neck. Isabelle had apparently been listening in on their little spat because she began going in on Jace as soon as her dark eyes focused on him. 

“Jace! Seriously, you gotta let my girl have some fun. She’s not a little girl anymore and I am getting sick and tired of you and Seb and Jon and.. Well only you three really.. Treating her like shes- like shes five! Shes the same age as me and I’ve been getting drunk with all three of you since freshman year so don’t you [dare] give me any crap about-” Clary, extremely grateful for Isabelle’s help but also tired of the extreme vodka breathe being wafted into her face by pure proximity, placed a delicate hand over Isabelle’s bright red and slightly smudged lips. 

“Thank you for the help Iz but-” 

“Isabelle! Isabelle there you are,” looking up Clary saw the devil incarnate himself, her brother Sebastian. His white gold hair looked tinted green by the strobe lights and his eyes were definitely bloodshot. 

“You can’t chug half a bottle of tequila and then run off..” he trailed off and looked from Isabelle, who had draped herself over Clary and was running her perfectly manicured fingers through Clary’s hair, to Clary herself, who was thanking her years of training and workouts because Isabelle was not holding any of her own weight, to Jace, who was looking at the girls with a face full of something Clary didn’t want to focus on at the moment.

“What are you doing down here? I told you-” Sebastian angrily started on Clary but was interrupted by Isabelle’s chattering. 

“We just went over this! You guys need- need to stop treating little Clary like she’s five cause like me she is sixteen and she deserves to have fun too! Let her get drunk! Let her get high, let her wake up half naked in a bathtub full of orbeez..” she paused in thought, “wait that was me… anyways!! My p-point is that Clary is not a kid and does not need to be sheltered like one.” Isabelle ended her little speech with a vigorous nod of her head, as if that would further convince Sebastian of her point. As if to further his weary expression Isabelle let out a little burp followed by a giggle light as air. 

For a few seconds no one said anything. Clary was very aware of Jace drinking her perfectly mixed drink but decided to ignore the flex of his arm as he raised the cup, pulling the white T-shirt he wore over his muscular arm. Instead, she looked warily to her brother. The amount of times the three Morgenstern siblings had fought over the twins protective nature was ridiculous. It's happened at least once a month for the past couple years and has become more frequent lately because Clary has taken to sneaking out with her best friend Simon and their friend Maia. 

Whenever the subject was broached Clary felt like screaming. Her lovely brothers just didn’t seem to understand there would be no reason for her to sneak out if she was actually allowed to do things. Their father Valentine Morgenstern, boss man of the Clave Cartel too preoccupied with the demands of running a drug empire, left the responsibility of keeping little Clarissa Morgenstern safe to her two older brothers, Jonathan and Sebastian Morgenstern. When she had been smaller it was awesome,having her brothers love her so much; but as she grew older that love became accompanied by fierce protectiveness that wore on every single one of Clary’s nerves. 

  
  


Sebastian seemed to actually be taking what Isabelle said seriously if the contemplative look on his face was anything to go by. He closed his eyes for a second and when he opened them, they were on Clary burning black. 

“Okay.” He didn’t look fully happy to be saying it but he continued, “Jon has actually been on your side with this so he won’t mind much but, Isabelle is right. You’re not a kid anymore.” Sebastian smiled slightly while reaching for a beer out of the cooler and continued, “Have some fun, drink something or whatever but don’t be stupid please. I don’t want to have to explain another broken laptop to dad.” 

Ignoring the flabbergasted expression on his sister’s face, he gently grabbed Isabelle’s wrist to get her attention and then extracted the drunk girl from his little sister. Sebastian let Isabelle snuggle into his arm as he fished in his pocket for something. Clary was beginning to understand why the boys never left Izzy alone when she was drunk. 

He handed Clary a little baggy and said, “Don’t smoke anything just anyone hands you. I know you’ve smoked before,” Clary began to defend herself despite his being right but was silenced when he put his hand up, “your perfume isn’t that strong, please who do you think you’re talking to.” He turned to walk away but added as an afterthought, “And if you want to do anything harder than weed, please do it with someone you trust.” Sebastian punctuated the end of his sentence with a sly look at Jace who widened his eyes but said nothing. 

“One more thing,” he gave Clary a look that would make anyone else shiver, “Go change into some real fucking clothes Clarissa. I don’t need these depraved dogs panting after my little sister. A murder doesn’t look very good on college applications.” Smiling, he walked away half carrying Isabelle with him. Clary knew Sebastian said that last part for effect rather than himself. He had made it clear he had no desire to attend ‘more fucking school’. 

Clary, slightly dumbstruck by how easy that was, plucked the cup out of Jace’s hand and took a large drink. Jace was smiling, but it was that kind of smile that wanted to be bigger but the wearer would not allow it. H e looked at her and suddenly Clary felt warmth envelop her in the November chill. In that moment, Clary no longer felt like the little six year old that Jace had to hide with and _protect_ during a coupe turned gun fight in her living room. If Seb admitted it, then it was true. Clary was not a little girl anymore and hopefully Jace would see that too. 

“C’mon. I’ll walk you upstairs.” Jace said casting a distasteful look at a brown haired boy who, Clary now noticed, had been ogling her chest. On their way up the stairs Jace plucked an apple from the snack table while she threw her cup away. 

  
  
  


Upstairs, Jace had confessed he wasn’t in the mood to party and would much rather spend time with her since they hadn’t in a while. Regardless of how excited she was to attend the party foreal, Clary was not about to pass up an opportunity to spend time with Jace [alone in her room]. Maybe she would finally woman up and make a move. 

He was currently entertaining himself by browsing her book shelf chocked full of mangas, other graphic novels and various fiction and non-fiction books. Next to her bookshelf was a white desk with various nicks and scratches. In the middle of the room headboard against the wall was her bed, blue scale bed sheets and comforter thrown haphazardly. On the other side of her bed was her art corner, various supplies sticking out of drawers and laying on the floor. To the other side of the room was a small lounging area with bean bag chairs and a coffee table. Through the window the strobe lights of the party were visible as a faint glow down below. The music thudded softly against the walls of the house. 

Suddenly very aware that she was alone with the most beautiful boy she had ever seen, Clary burst out, “So what do you want to do?” 

He didn’t move his eyes off the spine he was examining. “How about we talk about why you were upset when I got here earlier.” 

Of course there was another reason he wanted to come up here. 

  
  
  
  


When Jace had arrived at six to help set up the party Clary was not in a good mood. Her brothers had left to get the kegs so it was up to her to answer the door red-rimmed eyes and all. Jace, immediately noticing her sad appearance, asked her what was wrong but she waved him off and walked speedily back to her room. She had hoped he would follow her but as always, he didn’t. 

Taking a seat on the edge of her bed and gazing at his back still turned to her she spoke, “It was nothing.” 

“Anything that makes you cry is not nothing to me.” There was a fierceness in his voice that surprised her. They had always been friends, attending the same school and their families being in the same business as it was. All the kids apart of the Clave had learned to look out for each other in the absence of their parents so it was no surprise Jace cared about Clary. What surprised her was the desperation in his voice. 

This was what confused her. In front of other people he was Jace and she was Clary, separate and friendly. Yet when they were alone there was an intensity about him and everything he did with her that Clary could never find the strength to question. It was like she was being pulled in by the silent song his body sung to hers. 

Clary feigned annoyance but was secretly glad to talk about it, “Well if you must know some prissy girls at school pissed me off.” When he turned around and looked at her with an expression that said _keep going_ she continued, deciding in a split second to actually tell him what happened. 

As Clary thought of how to continue Jace glided over to her blue bean bag chair and threw himself down on it. 

“I was sitting in Algebra and the girls at my table were talking about sex.” Ignoring the blush on her face and thankful for his silence she plowed on, “They were talking about positions and like all this stuff I didn’t even know the meaning of. Anyways, they started asking me questions and I didn’t know how to answer so they started ragging on me.” At the time it had been mortifying. Being called a prude for not knowing what a creampie was. When Clary had gotten home and cried out her frustrations she realized that their opinion didn’t matter and there was no deadline to meet when it came to sex. 

The problem wasn’t the taunting. It was that they were _right_. Not the part about her being a prude but the part where they told her she was missing out. Being sixteen and horny, Clary had her fair share of sexual fantasies. All of them involved a certain golden boy. In theory sex was her favorite. In action not so much. No matter her comfort with her sexual impulses Clary had not had sex with anyone that wasn’t her own hand. She just couldn’t seem to find a guy she trusted enough. 

Jace had been quiet for a full minute before he spoke. “So? Sex isn’t mandatory. It’s fun or whatever but you don’t have to do it just because everyone else is.” He was looking intently at his hands that, Clary noticed, were rolling a blunt. Guess he found her fake book. 

Gathering the shards of courage she had left Clary spoke quietly. “It may not be mandatory but that doesn’t mean I don’t want it.” 

Jace had finished rolling and placed the tray on the floor next to him. He refused to look at her but spoke anyway, “Well then, what? You scared Morgenstern?” His voice was teasing and tense but the question hit Clary anyway. She looked at him and suddenly her heart was pounding at the blackness of his usually golden eyes. 

Now was her chance. 

Summoning every bit of feminine charm she could Clary allowed her robe to slip off her shoulder a fraction and crossed one leg over the other. Thankful she had shaved the morning before. 

“Not scared exactly. I just- I don’t have anyone I trust enough. Every boy in my life is either family or intimidated by my brothers.” Clary knew that last sentence would get to him. Jace Herondale was scared of [no one]. If Jace wanted her the way his eyes said they did, he would have to do something about it. 

Standing up and walking slowly in the blonde’s direction she kept talking, “If I’m being honest the only boy I can imagine giving myself to…” she paused for effect and was delighted to see his dark eyes following every little movement she made. Quickly, before she could sike herself out, she lowered herself onto his lap, straddling his legs with her own. 

  
  


Taking his automatic gentle hands on her hips as an okay she breathed the last couple words, “Is you.” 

Jace was looking at her intently. There was a battle going on in his head, she knew. Push her off his lap and yell at her about how he was like her brother. Or, she hoped, give in to the desire Isabelle swore was there. 

He inhaled a shaky breath and continued looking at her. Hands still placed politely on her waist. “What are you looking for Clary?” 

Here was the hard part. Clary knew he wanted her physically. That she never doubted, partly because of Isabelle’s reassurance and mostly because of the way he looked at her like he was undressing her with his eyes all the time. The hard part was deciding whether or not to tell him about this indescribable feeling that ran much deeper than physical attraction and made her heart beat like a horse race and set her entire body ablaze in the sheer intensity of the [want and need] she had for him. 

Remembering Jace’s track record with relationships however, Clary knew that wasn’t an option. He was the kind of guy that never dates seriously. He had more flings than anything else and has made it clear to multiple girls that he was not a relationship kind of guy. The only way Clary would be able to have him would be through sex and that would have to be enough. It never would be truth be told; but it would have to do. She was tired of not having him at all. 

Prompted by her silence Jace began, “One night? Enough so you know what to do?” He looked impatient. “What do you want?” Jace leaned forward, lips hovering directly under hers. 

It sounded so stupid to say. 

“F- friends with benefits if that's okay with you.” Clary’s throat closed at the words as her face lit like a flame and she crushed her face into his shoulder. He stiffened and then let out a small chuckle, hands playing with her curls. 

He made a small noise into her hair and spoke softly, “I can do that.” 

Clary looked at him; hoping with everything in her that, maybe, just maybe, if she gave herself to him completely he would love her as much as she loved him. 

Ignoring the twinge in her chest she surged down to capture his mouth in a soft kiss. Their first kiss. He tasted like liquor and apples. His kiss felt like actual fire coursing through her veins. Hot and addicting. She began to pull back but was stopped by Jace’s hand moving to cup the back of her neck. She responded eagerly, kissing him back harder. He pulled her closer, his other hand gripped firmly on her right hip. Giving in to the desire that had been long built, Clary put one hand in his hair to tug lightly, resulting in a throaty moan, and fisted the other into his shirt to pull him closer, always closer.

She gasped lightly when his tongue prodded the seam of her lips but granted him entrance anyways. Eventually they found a rhythm and suddenly Clary was actually making out with _Jace Herondale_. She moaned softly when he bit her lip and she returned the action by detaching her mouth from his and pressing wet kisses to his neck. He let out a groan and fell back against the beanbag when she started sucking on him pulse point, pulling Clary’s entire body with him. Jace placed a hand on her face to guide her head back to his in order to press a searing kiss to her lips that left her dizzy and wanting. Emboldened by his desire for her she wiggled her hips experimentally only to whimper at the pressure his erection put on her throbbing cunt. When the need for air became too great they broke apart, lips red and swollen. 

Jace’s voice was rough as gravel, “God dammit Clary,” he stood swiftly, keeping Clary’s legs wrapped around his hips. He walked over to her bed and placed her gently down on it. She was sitting with her legs dangling over the edge with him standing between her legs. She tugged on his belt loops to get him to come closer but he didn’t budge. 

“You have to tell me what you want first baby.” The term of endearment must have caught him off guard too because his face was shocked before it turned serious. Clary placed a kiss on his ribcage that made his breath catch and then shimmied backwards to where she was propped against her pillows, legs spread waiting for him to take his rightful place. 

Clary tossed her head against the pillow and trailed her eyes over his body once more. “I want to make out with you. I want you to touch me,” she placed a hand on her ribcage and slid it down towards her center, rubbing lightly. Had this been anyone else, Clary would have never been so bold. Jace, suddenly remembering how to move, kicked off his boots and crawled onto the bed, placing his body on top of hers. He had his arms near her head to hold himself up but that wasn’t what she wanted. Clary liked having him close.

“I don’t want to hurt you,” he said. Clary pulled Jace’s face down to kiss him quickly before she said, “Don’t do that,” She poked his arms. “I want to feel your weight on top of me.” Apparently she was going to have to tell him what she wanted for him to do it, Clary wished he would stop controlling himself so much. Having him close to her was comforting but being under him, trapped under his weight filled her with a sense of safety despite this being the first time they ever did this. She knew then that once this was over she would never be able to duplicate this feeling. 

Slightly unsure but relenting, Jace allowed his body weight to fall on her. Clary was delighted and showed as much with a content sigh. Loving the feel of his whole body on top of her she grabbed his face and kissed him hard on the mouth. He responded quickly, placing his hands on her hips. Jace kissed her hotly, all tongue and fierce presses of his mouth against hers. Each of her hands was rubbing up and down his torso and back, nails scratching at the fabric she wanted gone. His hands were still placed politely on her hips and Clary was having none of it. She nibbled lightly on his lip and pulled away gasping, “Touch me, touch me _please_.” 

Apparently all he needed was permission because a second later, one of his hands was gripping her face firmly yet gentle and the other was making its way up and down her thigh soothingly, fingertips inching under her shorts. She moaned into his mouth when he dug his fingers in enough to bruise. 

“Jace, please.” Clary thrust her hips up to rub against the leg that was between hers and let out an embarrassing noise when her clit rubbed against the lace of her now surely drenched panties. 

He pulled away from her mouth and started sucking lightly on her exposed collarbone and then rolled his hips into hers. Clary, becoming further consumed by his fire, began running her fingers through his hair in an effort to simmer herself down. 

He lifted his head just enough to look into her eyes and asked, “Can I go down on you?” There was a desperation in his voice that made her core ache. 

“Yes.” As soon as the word left her mouth he kissed her once more and proceeded to lick and kiss his way down her neck and chest, lifting her shirt as he went. Annoyed at the fabric jumbling under her arms Clary yanked her arms out of her robe and pulled the top over her head, leaving her in only tiny grey shorts with an obvious wet patch on them. She would have been embarrassed if Jace wasn’t looking at her like she was the only thing that mattered. 

He sucked her left nipple into his mouth and pinched the other with his long pianist fingers. She moaned, living the feeling of his hands on her. Clary really couldn’t wait to feel those fingers inside her. Jace continued to bite and lick his way down her body until he reached the spot just above the waistline of her shorts. He sucked a quick bruise into the jut of her hip then hooked his fingers in and asked, “Are you sure?” 

She breathed a quick yes while running her hand through his hair once more. He shot her a dazzling smile and tugged on her shorts and panties all at once, prompting her to lift her hips so he could get them all the way off. It took her a full minute to realize she was fully naked and writhing under a fully dressed Jace. Her blush took over her face and he laughed lightly. Sitting up on his knees he pulled his shirt off before resting himself between her thighs. 

He must have noticed how tense she was because he began to press soft, hot kisses to the area surrounding her most sensitive spot. He stopped every couple kisses to suck a bruise into her flesh, making her moan out loud suddenly grateful for the loud music downstairs. Out of nowhere his tongue was pressed against her clit and she shivered, wrapping her legs around his head. 

He began licking her lower lips furiously, sucking on her clit and biting every now and then. He did.. Something with his tongue that made her bite her lip to keep from screaming too loud. Clary began to wiggle, almost wanting to get away from the intense pleasure he was giving her. He lowered himself and wrapped each of his arms around her thighs, pulling her closer to his mouth and lifting her slightly off the bed. Jace buried his face in her cunt and she _screamed,_ overwhelmed with the fire only he made her feel. Clary kept moaning his name like a prayer, gripping his hair in one hand and her bed sheets in the other. She felt the familiar coil in the pit of her stomach pull tighter and tighter as he continued to eat her out like a starved man. Jace let out a moan when she attempted to thrust her hips up but was met by his arms holding her in place. He was tongue fucking her while rubbing her clit in fast circles and she was _so_ close to what she knew was going to be her best orgasm to date. 

He hadn’t even slipped a finger inside her yet and she was all keyed up, babbling and ready to fly off the cliff but she needed something, something… As if sensing her thoughts he pulled his mouth away from her pussy and growled, “Come for me baby.” Then he placed his mouth back on her clit, sucking hard. 

Her orgasm washed over her, making her legs twitch and her cunt clench around his tongue as she _gushed_ all over his face. She expected him to pull away and yank his pants off but instead Jace continued to eat her out slowly, working her through the aftershocks of the first orgasm he gave her. 

She pushed lightly on his head and tugged him up to kiss her. Clary could taste herself as she shoved her tongue in his mouth but she didn’t care. Her hands went for his belt but he grabbed her wrists. 

“You don’t have to.” He was looking down at her with his eyes fully black and Clary had to resist the urge to smack him. 

“I want to.” As if to show him just how much she kissed him again and pushed him down to wear he was laying on her bed and she was above him in all her naked glory. He groaned out loud when he felt her wet sex press into his crotch, leaving behind a distinct wet spot. 

“Clary,” Him moaning her name was all it took for her to quickly undo his belt, pants and shimmy his jeans and boxers down his strong legs. She pressed a kiss to each of his thighs, his knees and calves and back up again. When she arrived at face level with his penis was when her heart skipped a beat. She had watched porn before, she knew what a blowjob was supposed to look like but not exactly how to do one. He was so big, at least eight inches and thick too. How was he going to fit in her mouth? How was he going to fit inside _her_?

Noticing her hesitation Jace spoke slowly sending shivers up her spine, “You can start with your hand baby.” Encouraged by his words she ran her palm across the inside of her thighs, using her own arousal as lube, and began jerking him slowly. He moaned softly and sat up in order to pull her closer to the point where she was nearly in his lap. 

Clary picked up the pace, twisting her hand as she moved it up and down. Jace moaned into her neck and bit her collarbone, most likely to try and stifle his sounds. But Clary didn’t want him to be quiet. She wanted him to lose it for her the way she lost it for him. 

Shuffling backwards on her knees Clary leaned down to press a kiss to his head and get a taste of his precum. The sight of her doing so might have been too much for his mortal mind considering he threw his head back against the bed and threw an arm over his face. 

Full of confidence Clary took his member into her mouth and sucked lightly, rewarded by a throaty moan that sent satisfaction trickling down her spine. She began sucking his dick eagerly, jerking what couldn’t fit in her mouth with her hand. Jace’s right hand came down to rest on her head while the other went behind his own. He was watching her, she knew, feeling his hot gaze rake over her naked figure leaned over and sucking his cock. 

Deciding to try something Maia mentioned, Clary ran her tongue up the underside of his dick and was rewarded by Jace’s hand fisting her hair and pulling while pushing her head down. He immediately began to apologize and push her off but she stayed where she was, silently telling him it was okay. They continued like that, Clary sucking and licking his cock while his hand pushed her head further down every now and then, causing her to gag but not pull away. Jace had abandoned any semblance of self control by moaning into his arm and thrusting his hips up. She took him easily, happy to see she could take a little more of him in her mouth. Clary looked up at him and moaned around his cock when she saw his head thrown back, mouth open in ecstasy. 

Pulling back she placed her hand on his cock again, moving up and down while twisting. 

He let out a whimper when she swiped her thumb across his head. Clary, filled with determination, put her mouth back on him with one hand gripping his hip, nails digging in and the other fondling his balls, something she heard Kaelie mention at lunch. 

He gasped, thrusting his hips up again and lightly pushing at her head, “Clary, Clary I’m gonna cum-” if he expected her to pull away he was disappointed. Instead of pulling back like she knew he wanted her to, she sucked him into her mouth even more, putting the tip of his dick towards the back of her throat. She was mid bob when she felt him tense and dobble over, releasing a throaty moan. The next thing she felt was his hot cum hit the back of her throat. Clary continued to move her mouth up and down his shaft, sucking him clean. It wasn’t until he yanked her up by the hair and kissed her fiercely that she realized he was finally letting go of the control he only ever put on himself with her. 

Clary kissed him back, tongue running along his. The heat slowly slipped away from them, replaced by a lazy desire. The kisses he was pressing to her mouth were intoxicating. Despite the fire that never went away around him, there seemed to be an unspoken understanding between them that that would be it for the night. 

Pecking him once more she pulled away, “Thank you.” 

Clary pulled herself away from him and settled herself on the bed, body still thrumming with the song of sex in her veins. Jace, noticing her distancing herself did the same. He laid still, barely breathing. It hurt more than she expected it to; Seeing him not even question the distance between them. 

“You don’t have to thank me. I enjoyed it just as much,” looking at her once more he got out of bed and grabbed his boxers and jeans, pulling them on. Clary’s heart contracted in her chest. He was leaving?

Clary felt stupid. She had built this image in her head that after the sex he would care about her a little more. Cuddle her while watching a movie or just lay in bed talking. She should have known better. He was in control of himself again. 

He reached for his shirt and she panicked, flying out of bed and towards him. Clary pulled his body close, ignoring the rough fabric of his jeans rubbing against her naked frame. There were hot tears building but she couldn’t do that. She couldn’t cry about the fact that the boy she was in a _friends with benefits_ relationship with was going to leave her alone in her sex hazed room after giving her the best night of her life. It was probably the dumbest thing she ever did, telling him she wanted friends with benefits when really what she wanted was him. All the good and the bad. 

“Clary,” sounding tired, he pushed her away and grabbed her robe off the end of the bed, sliding her arms into it with no help from Clary herself. Any hope she had at keeping him for the night diminished. What would it take to get him to stay? Did she have to suck him off again? 

“I want you to stay.” She had spoken so quietly she was surprised he heard her at all. She pulled her robe tighter against her body, tying it off. If he didn’t want to touch her again tonight that was fine. She just wanted him close.

“That's not a good idea,” Jace uttered while tying his boots. “We can talk about this tomorrow.” 

  
  


With that, he walked over to her door and left, leaving an empty space in the room and a hole in Clary’s heart. 

  
  



	2. boundaries

Being in love with Clarissa Morgenstern felt like dying slowly. The way she walked taunted him. The way she cared so deeply for others and expressed herself so fully in her art, like a piece of her own soul was poured on the pages of her precious sketchbooks that he had the honor of looking at every now and then. Loving her was torture, it filled Jace with a hollowing anguish that left him awake at night, wishing for the warmth of her small body next to him. Any conversation they had, anything she was willing to give him was enough. It had to be enough because he wouldn’t dare ask for more. 

Which was exactly how he found himself in this situation. Moping in a guest bedroom of the Morgenstern house, laying on the bed fully dressed staring at the ceiling wondering about the redhead down the hall. 

  
  
  


It had been just after ten when he caught her at the drink table. It had started innocently enough. Aside from the fact that her choice of skimpy shorts, a loose tank top, and a robe that had been the fuel of quite a few fantasies was clouding Jace’s mind. He told her she wasn’t allowed to drink and she became irritated as usual. Then out of nowhere Isabelle came crashing into him and started ranting about how Clary wasn’t a little girl anymore. That specific topic had been something Jace had insisted on ignoring for the better half of the past two years. He knew she wasn’t a little girl anymore. She doesn’t wear those bright blue clips in her hair anymore and she hadn’t asked Seb and Jon to tag along to wherever they were going. Then, to Jace’s complete and utter surprise, Sebastian laxed on the Protect Clary rules enough to allow her to enjoy a party. 

Jace Herondale, at the age of seventeen, had entered a ‘relationship’ that would most likely kill him. When she had begun to talk to him about what had been bothering her earlier that day he had been nothing less than stupefied for a full minute before his brain began to fire on all cylinders again. Sex was not something he had ever wanted to talk about with or around Clary. Ever. For obvious reasons. 

Then she said she wanted to have sex. She wanted to but she didn’t trust anyone enough except- well except for him. She had said as much from where she had perched herself in his lap. Growing up together in the Clave along with the rest of their friends and siblings they always trusted each other. To watch out for each other and keep each other safe. When he was seven and his father brought him along to a meeting with a coup turned gunfight Jace had acted on his seven year old instincts and hidden with Clary in a closet at the back of the mansion. He remembered her being scared that her brothers were in another room and they might be hurt. Jace, being only a year older, had been just as scared but sucked it up because Clary needed him to be strong until their parents came and found them. 

He has always given her whatever she needed or wanted from him and he was not about to stop now. 

  
  


When he asked her what it was she wanted he had been foolish enough to hope she would say she wanted him to be her boyfriend. Instead, she had said she wanted to be friends with benefits. It felt like a knife to the chest knowing the only girl he would ever love only wanted to have sex with him just like everyone else. Maybe it was karma for all the girls he refused to be with seriously. Clary didn’t want him with the same ache and need he wanted her. That was fine. Whatever she wanted from him was hers as long as he could give it. 

So he had said yes and began making out with her like he had been yearning for for the past year. She had pulled away slightly but that had been fixed when he placed a hand on the back of her neck. He had a theory that her defiant little ass liked being told what to do and he was proved right every time she moaned into his mouth when he gripped her hip or held her head. When Clary began pulling him closer he let himself believe it was because she actually wanted him and not just because he was a warm body she trusted. She trusted him explicitly and he was betraying her by not telling her what this really meant to him. 

  
  


Then, she was laying on her bed rubbing her pussy through her shorts and Jace knew that despite his own agony he would never deny this beautiful girl anything. Jace had long ago accepted the fierce, never ending feeling in his heart that came with the mere thought of the fiery little redhead. This primal urge deep inside told him he was supposed to protect her from anything that could hurt her. 

They had been kissing steadily until she started begging him to touch her and something dark and raw twisted in his gut; something that filled Jace with the urge to make her his. Going down on her had been the literal definition of heaven, her legs wrapped around his head with her wrecked voice moaning and panting out his name and no one else's. He was the only boy to ever see her like this. Her squirming had made it difficult to get a rhythm down so he held her down without much thought. Clary became even more keyed up at being restrained, letting out a pornographic moan when he dug his fingers into her hips enough to bruise. 

He hadn’t planned on instructing her to come but it wasn’t as if she didn’t respond immediately. Her orgasm was caused by him and him alone. 

  
  


When she had taken over and made it obvious he was going to cum at her discretion but didn’t know how to start, he suggested she use her hand to begin with. And then she ran her hand through the slick on her thighs that Jace hadn’t quite managed to clean up and he began walking through Dante’s inferno in his head to keep from embarrassing himself.  When she licked up his cock that urge to make her his took over again, causing Jace to push her head down. Clary actually liked how forceful he was with her so he decided he didn’t have to feel bad about it. 

Afterwards she thanked him and it was like ice water hitting him in the face: Clary wanted sex and nothing else. He wanted to pull her into his arms and smell her strawberry hair until he fell asleep only to wake up to her the next morning; all she wanted was an orgasm. Clary cared about him, he knew that. Maybe she even loved him. Not in the way he wanted but it wasn’t her fault Jace was constantly hurting his own feelings. She didn’t have to thank him for anything ever because he loved her with his entire being. Jace belonged to her. Mind, body and soul. She just didn’t want him. 

  
  


Clary was the most beautiful girl in the world to Jace and it wore on every single one of his nerves that he couldn’t tell her. Her hair was like a wall of fire, curls bouncing with every small movement. Her eyes like emeralds, always bright and eager for the next challenge. She had these cute little breasts that fit perfectly in his hands. Clary also had a habit of wiggling her butt whenever she was excited or trying to torture him. There were so many other things too. So many other reasons Jace loved her that had nothing to do with her appearance. 

  
  


It took only a few seconds to make the decision to leave her room and sulk down the hall for the rest of the party. It would have been too much laying with her after what they did. Before he left he had told her they would talk about it tomorrow with no real intention to do it but he knew they had to. There had to be boundaries. Of course he didn’t want them but they both needed to be comfortable. Jace never wanted to hide anything from her, no feeling or action or need. She wanted friends with benefits so he would give it to her. If they were going to do this Jace was bound to get his stupid feelings hurt again. Maybe he could do something to keep the end of it from destroying him. 

  
  
  


* * *

  
  
  
  


The next morning was horrible. Clary woke up with a dry mouth, courtesy of the blunt she smoked before she passed out on her bed, hugging the pillow that smelled like Jace close to her chest. After Jace left, Clary redressed in a silk pajama top her mother had gotten for her from Paris and a pair of regular black spandex from Academy. Then, she cried. Mostly about the situation she had gotten herself into with a boy who didn’t care much about anyone romantically. She cried about how the next morning she would have to pretend none of it happened because as far as their friends and her brothers were concerned, nothing did. 

Walking over to her en suite she prepared herself for her walk of shame. Was it a walk of shame if you had nothing to be ashamed of and no one else knew? 

Throwing her hair into a messy ponytail and cursing as her ring caught in a knot of her hair, she looked in the mirror and gaped. There were slightly faded purple-red marks across her body, mostly her breasts. At least Jace had enough foresight to avoid her neck. 

Jace. 

How would he act at breakfast?

  
  


<><>

Sebastian and Jonathan had been throwing ragers since they started High School. The Morgenstern parties were legendary among students at Wentworth Academy. The twins were two of the most popular boys at school not only because they were on the football team but because of their striking good looks. They were both tall and lean, Jonathan and Sebastian both had their fathers silver blonde hair; but where Jonathan had green eyes like their mother Sebastian had dark, almost black eyes like their father. 

Jonathan, being the secret mother hen he was, always took the responsibility of cooking breakfast for everyone. The first morning they did this everyone had started ragging on him for being a housewife but had immediately shut up when they got a taste of his pancakes. 

  
  


Walking into the kitchen Clary noticed her brother Jonathan cooking eggs, bacon and potatoes on the stove. In the oven was what looked like cinnamon buns. On the kitchen island Isabelle, looking ridiculously cheery for having a hangover, was cutting up fruit into cubes. On the island were three moderate stacks of pancakes. Feeding four teenage boys and two bottomless pit girls meant lots of food was consumed Saturday mornings. 

Clary perked up at the thought of  _ next _ Saturday morning. Simon and Maia would be joining them next weekend for sure and Clary could not be more excited. No matter the situation with Jace, her brothers finally let go a little bit. She could party with her friends without having to sneak out to do it. Maybe if she asked nicely Magnus would come. Magnus Bane was a family friend who had been in Clary’s life for as long as she could remember. He was a few years older, twenty three to Clary’s sixteen but that didn’t mean they weren’t friends. Magnus was the one who would buy the twins alcohol before their father decided to open up a liquor store called the Citadel. 

  
  
  


The Morgenstern Mansion was home base for the three families that made up the main branch of the Clave. The Lightwoods and Herondales had their own houses but their kids were always at the Morgenstern’s because they were all so close and the adults were always so gone. A few of their guest bedrooms had been chosen by their extended family and none of the Morgenstern siblings were inclined to complain. If their parents were always gone why not practically live together? 

Clary walked over to the fridge to pull out the jugs of orange and apple juice along with the milk. She began to reach for a piece of bacon out of the simmering pan but was smacked on the hand by a spatula. 

“Hey!” Clary cradled her hand close to her chest. 

“We eat together, Clarissa.” Jonathan gave her an annoyed look full of love and she stuck her tongue out at him. Wounded by the denial of bacon, Clary decided to pour herself a cup from the two ready pots of coffee. A house full of caffeine addicts meant two coffee makers. 

“Also Seb told me what happened last night.” He was looking at the pan with eggs in it, examining them to see if they were done. Shocked, Clary sucked in a breath. Did he know what happened with Jace? If they did, someone was going to end up dead by the end of breakfast. 

Isabelle, noticing Clary’s panic, swooped in with a smile, “It was about time Jon, don’t you think?” 

Jonathan nodded, seemingly uninterested in the topic of his sister no longer having crazy rules to follow. So Sebastian was right, Jonathan really had been on her side. She was totally gonna get him something good for Christmas this year. 

Clary looked back at Isabelle who had a curious look in her eye but didn’t say anything.  Footsteps thudded down the stairs and three seconds later, Alec stumbled into the kitchen. He grumbled a hello and made his way to the coffee pot Clary had just vacated. 

Plopping down next to his sister he said groggily, “Mom wants us home tonight. Her and Max are coming back early from their trip to Prague.” 

Robert and Mayrse, Clary knew, had taken a trip to Prague on Clave business. Probably to smooth over that deal Valentine had been organizing for the past month. Isabelle rolled her eyes at the lack of mention of their father. Isabelle and Alec’s little brother Max was too young to be left here with them so he either stayed with a nanny or went along with Mayrse and Robert if the trip wasn’t too dangerous. 

“Alright. She’s leaving again on Monday though isn’t she?” Isabelle put a peppy tone in her question but her face gave away her sadness at the fact. Clary had listened to Isabelle rant about her mother enough to know their relationship was not the best. 

“Yeah. She’s leaving with our mom on Monday.” Sebastian said entering the kitchen. He placed a kiss on the crown of Clary’s head and took a seat on the opposite side of the island, grabbing a glass and filling it with orange juice as he went. 

Jocelyn was supposed to come home tonight around six according to the text she sent the family group chat last night. As usual she would just unpack, repack and spend a few hours prying into her kids lives to see what she missed before setting off to her next location. 

Clary noticed Jonathan placing the last of the breakfast dishes of the kitchen island where everyone was seated on a high chair. Well, everyone except.. 

“Where’s Jace?” Alec said peeking over his mug. He stared at the table, particularly the fruit. 

“I don’t know but he better get down here so we can eat.” Sebastian grumbled, staring longingly at the plate of pancakes. 

“I’ll go get him.” Clary stood and walked toward the stairs. But not before noticing Isabelle’s eyes on her. 

  
  
  
  
  


A knock on the door later and Clary was greeted by Jace dressed in black sweats and a white t-shirt. 

“Hey. I was just about to head down for breakfast.” He was looking at her weird but she elected to ignore it and nod. 

“Well, Hurry because Sebastian is about to jump the table and Alec doesn’t look far behind.” She laughed with a little more force than necessary and was met with a half smile from the golden boy in front of her. 

“Don’t think I forgot about the conversation we’re supposed to have.” 

Clary smiled at the back of his head and hoped she didn’t completely ruin one of her most treasured relationships. 

  
  


After they both clamored down the stairs after that Jace took his seat on the right side of Sebastian and Clary took hers on his left. They began to eat without ceremony, enjoying the sweet, hardy taste of Granny Fairchild’s cooking. Throughout the meal she would catch Jace looking at her and Isabelle would catch both of them looking at each other. 

  
  
  
  


By the time Alec and Isabelle left, Jonathan had popped his fair head into Clary’s room to let her know that he and Sebastian were going to meet up with some boys from the football team and to not wait up for them, it was a saturday night after all. He also mentioned that because the Herondales were still in Paris, Jace would be down the hall if Clary needed anything. Clary didn’t bother asking why he wasn’t going with them. 

She needed to talk to him. 

The suspense was killing her. Would he retract his agreement and pat her on the head and send her off? Would he want to continue after her obvious display of attachment last night? 

  
  
  
  
  
  


A sharp knock on the door interrupted the pushups Jace had been doing in an attempt to distract himself. No matter how nonchalant he sounded with Clary this morning he was nervous about the boundaries conversation. 

He swung the door open to see Clary dressed in a pair of baby blue spandex and- one of his old shirts. The one he thought he had lost in the laundry a month ago. She wore it better, folded under to resemble a crop top. The tasteful bleach stains on the black shirt did something to bring out the red hues in her hair. 

“Hey.” He stepped aside and she walked in wordlessly. Clary walked over to the bed and took a seat on the edge, drawing up her legs to sit in a criss cross position. 

Jace, suddenly unsure of what to do with himself, stood still in the middle of what might as well be his room. 

Clary made a motion for him to sit down with her head and he obeyed, sitting a few inches away from her. She was looking at him like she always does. With those big, innocent green eyes staring at Jace like he held all the answers in the world. 

He would never admit he loved the way she worshiped him when they were younger, being the cool older boy because her brothers were automatically annoying just by being her brothers. There had been a time when Clary was eleven that she had tried to hold his hand at the amusement park and he had let her. At the time it was nothing special, he was just holding a friend's hand. Clary had blushed for the whole five minutes their sweaty hands were clasped together until Isabelle pulled her away towards a water ride. It wasn’t until he was sixteen that Jace looked at that memory again with a different eye and realized why Valentine had looked at him weird for the rest of the day. 

  
  


“So.” Jace said, clasping his hands in his lap. “Do you want to keep doing this?” Clary looked at him with a worried expression and he quickly explained that some people change their minds about sex. She denied this being her case. 

“I want to keep going. Do you?” 

“Yeah, as long as you do. How far do you want to go exactly?” It had barely occurred to him that he would actually have to have sex with Clary and pretend it wasn’t pure lovemaking on his part. 

“Well, I would like to have--like… penetrative sex so to speak.” Her blush took over at this and Jace laughed lightly before pushing a loose curl behind her ear. Her hair was always so soft. 

“Okay. I’m good with that.” 

There was a stinging in the back of Jace’s throat as he thought about how their relationship would be of the platonic sexual sort. 

  
  
  


It took some back and forth with not that much arguing to come up with their limits because both of them would give the other whatever they wanted.  Clary had decided to restrain herself from begging him to cuddle her afterwards. Jace had agreed to get tested before they do anything more than what they already have. Jace insisted Clary didn’t have to because she was an inexperienced virgin. He hadn’t actually said the words but his facial expression had been enough. 

In the end they ended up with a simple list of rules.

Exclusive but secret (it ~~could~~ would get messy eventually) 

Sex only when both of us want it 

Kissing is always okay 

Cuddling is mandatory

Jace had been the one to suggest the last one and Clary couldn’t be happier. 

  
  
  
  


It was now Ten at night, Jace had declined Jon and Seb when they called and asked if he wanted to meet up at the spot in the woods that the Cartel kids used for massive parties. Clary had never been to one and since Isabelle wasn’t going either, she wasn’t inclined to start tonight. She and Jace had finished the awkward apprehensive part of the evening and were now enjoying a night of fine cinema.

Fast Forward halfway through 2 Fast 2 Furious, Clary and Jace were tangled together on her bed naked, panting and grinding. 

Clary planted her small feet on the bed and thrust her sex upward, rubbing her  _ dripping  _ cunt on Jace’s bare thigh. He let out a groan before kissing her hard and sucking and licking her nipple. 

Clary groaned at the fact that they couldn’t have actual sex until he got tested, which would be tomorrow morning. He began to nibble on her collarbone as he slowly pushed a single finger into her entrance. Clary let out a moan as he continued at a slow pace, adding a second finger and thumbing her clit. 

“J-Jace-” She gathered as much of Jace as she could in her arms and pulled him closer, demanding kisses from his generous mouth. Her orgasm was muffled by his lips and the afterglow cut short by a horrifyingly familiar voice floating through the house. Her mother. Clary completely forgot she was supposed to come home tonight. 

Jace must have heard it too because he leaped out of bed and began throwing Clary’s clothes at her while simultaneously pulling on his jeans and fixing his hair. He was fully dressed before Clary even got her shorts on. 

“Clary!” Jocelyn’s shrill voice sent panic into Clary’s heart. 

“Get out there before she comes in here!” Jace ran a few fingers through Clary’s hair before pulling it into a messy ponytail for her, something he had done a million times for both Clary and Isabelle growing up. 

After pulling down her shirt Clary bolted from Jace’s room right down the hall to her room, where her mother was snooping on her bookshelf. Probably looking for a book to discuss rather than have an actual conversation with her only daughter or either of the sons that gave up on knowing their mother a long time ago. A feat Clary herself has not accomplished. 

“Hey Mom.” Clary walked over and hugged her mother, savoring the feeling of Jocelyn’s arms wrapped around her.

“Where are your brothers?” 

Annoyed by the lack of any warmth yet relieved to not have been caught, Clary sat down and spoke to her mother about everything under the sun. Even if she wasn't really listening. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi guys! im so sorry if any of you were disappointed this took so long to update. I wish I could say I have an update schedule but I do not. Hope you enjoyed this! Let me know what you think!


	3. fire

Clary threw her head back and moaned louder than necessary as Jace pounded into her from below. At this angle she could feel every intoxicating inch of him. She was glad he was exhausted from training earlier. 

The kids in the Clave have had to take fighting classes more seriously lately because there has been whispers of someone coming for them. Other than the whispers there had been an attempted break-in at one of the stash houses and a robbery at the Citadel. 

A scrawny kid named Arthur had been behind the gun and had demanded the time and place of the Clave’s next weapons delivery after emptying a whole $23 from the cash register. Arthur had shot the clerk in the shoulder and, in turn, was killed by Mark Blackthorn who had gone to pick up the money for the day as an errand for his father. Obviously the person orchestrating all of this was dumb as a rock if they thought someone as low level as the Citadel cashier would have that kind of information. The only people with that information were Valentine himself, Valentine’s inner circle and his sons. Clary suspected that the certain someone coming for them might be Aldertree, a man Clary had heard her father raving about to the Lightwoods at dinner last night. But that didn’t matter right now. What did matter was the feeling of Jace fucking in and out of her. 

“Fuck Clary-” Jace let out a moan as Clary experimented a bit by moving her hips in a figure eight, something she had heard Isabelle talk about. His grip on her hips was bruising, like all the times before now. He gripped the back of Clary’s neck, pulling her down to kiss him.

It had been two weeks since they started this arrangement and Clary couldn’t exactly find a word to describe how it made her feel. Happy might suffice. They had sex for the first time a couple days after he got his results back and since then, Clary could not keep her legs closed around him and she wasn’t even slightly embarrassed by it. The delicious ache between her thighs, the blotchy red marks on her skin, the sore jaw and secret heated glances. 

Their relationship hadn’t changed all that much (much to Clary’s disappointment and relief) except they had sex whenever the opportunity arose. They still watched movies down in the basement with the rest of their friends and ate junk food until they couldn’t breathe. Clary’s two separate friend groups had mended together perfectly. Last Friday night Jace had dared Simon to do a keg stand while Maia and Izzy were busy table dancing and doing their best to convince Clary to join them. Jonathan was busy making sure Simon didn’t get alcohol poisoning and Alec was busy keeping grubby hands off his sister and new friend. Well, he had been busy until Magnus showed up on Clary’s invitation. She had been surprised to see the ever so stoic Alexander Lightwood blushing at her family friend. It was even more surprising that they had never met before. Clary was glad she was able to rectify that. 

  
  
  


Clary lost track of how long she had been bouncing on Jace’s cock but was reminded when he flipped them over suddenly without slipping out of her and began fucking into her furiously. However boring it is, missionary would always be Clary’s favorite position. No matter how good the angle was when she was on top, nothing could ever beat the feeling of Jace all around and inside her. Clary heard herself groan as her nails dug into Jace’s back. 

Jace put a hand between them to rub at her clit while he thrust his hips into her at a punishing pace. He whimpered when she put a hand in his hair tugging as she bit and sucked his lip, using her other hand to continue raking scratch marks into his back. He enjoyed being marked by her just as much as she enjoyed being marked by him. Clary felt the familiar coil winding up at the center of her body accompanied by the heat only Jace could bring. It only took a few more thrusts for her third orgasm to flood over her. Jace continued to fuck into her slowly as he kissed and worked her through the aftershocks and chased his own release. 

  
  
  
  


* * *

Clary felt weird. Besides the dull pleasurable ache between her legs there was something… off. She wouldn’t be able to tell you what it was but it was something. They were sitting in a coffee shop with one wall that was all windows. Simon and Maia were chattering away about some video game when it happened. A shiver went down Clary’s spine and a hollow pit opened up in her stomach. Why did she feel like someone was watching her? She cast a quick glance around the shop to see an elderly couple sitting with what looked to be their grandchild. A frazzled looking woman sitting alone with a laptop and a tablet in front of her. A group of teenagers that Clary recognized from school. A couple random people scattered along the bar that lined the window wall. Noone was looking at Clary though. Huh. Why did she feel like she was being watched?

“--and then Jordan- Clary are you even listening?” Maia snapped her head in the direction of the redhead in question. Clary stared dumbly, trying, for the life of her, to remember what Maia had been talking about.. Something about Jordan? 

“Jordan. Right?” Was all Clary had to offer. Maia rolled her eyes and shook her head with a small smile.

“Yeah he asked me if you would go see a movie with him.” Clary turned to Maia to ask if she was joking but her face said she definitely was not. Jordan Kyle was one of the hottest boys in school according to anyone even slightly attracted to boys. He had long dark hair and hazel eyes, taller than Jace but shorter than Alec. He was hot but Jace was.. Well. Jace. 

Clary noticed that Maia was watching her sip her iced coffee and realized she was waiting for an answer. Clary stared at her incredulously, 

“He did not send you to ask me out for him?!” Ridiculous! It was a question and a statement all rolled into one that made Simon snort out his coffee. If Jordan did use Maia as a messenger it was a definite hell no. Maia let out a loud laugh.

“No he asked me like, if he asked you would you want to go with him. Ya know? Cause we’re friends.” Maia was fidgeting in her seat with an unsure look on her face. She had been laughing and now she was frowning. Maia had mentioned last week that a boy had caught her attention.. A hot boy who just so happened to play football with Jon and Seb. 

Doing her best to keep from outright asking Maia Clary shrugged her shoulder, “Nah. He’s nice and all but I don’t like him like that,” As an afterthought Clary added “What did you tell him anyway?” 

“I told him he’d have to ask you to find out.” Maia at least had the decency to look sheepish that she told the boy she likes to ask out one of the only other girl friends she had. 

  
  


And that was the end of that. Maia was noticeably happier, Simon was as confused as always when it came to stuff like this and Clary was feeling stupid. Did she really just deny a date with a perfectly sweet, not to mention hot boy because she was already another hot boys pocket pussy? Yes. The hot boy she could go on a date with was also the only boy to catch Maia’s attention. Maia was always so cautious with boys after what happened with her dad and if Jordan got past all those flag searches Clary was not going to be the one to stand between a potential relationship. 

  
  
  


The three of them had gone to the coffee shop on Thursday after school and it was now Lunch on Friday. Alec and Sebastian left halfway through last period to go get pizza for their little group and they were all happily munching on cheesy goodness. It had gotten colder in the last two weeks so they were all huddled at a cafeteria table instead of their usual outside (and much larger) table.

Jace, Alec, Aline Penhallow and Helen Blackthorn were sitting on one side of the table while Jonathan, Izzy, Clary herself and Simon sat on the other. Sebastian was seated at the head of the table steel heading  the conversation to something about the last football game where he had been kicked off the team for punching another player in the mouth and knocking out three of his teeth. 

The Clave kids didn’t all go to the same school but the main families decided it would be best to keep their kids all together. Maia and Simon weren’t a part of the Clave but they were Clary’s friends and they had long ago accepted any danger that came with the territory. Speaking of danger Clary should probably talk to Simon about that weird feelings she’d been having. 

It took Clary a moment to realize Sebastian had stopped talking. Clary was grateful for this until she saw why. Jordan Kyle was heading in the direction of their table fidgeting with the bottom of his jacket. What was he doing? Didn’t he sit with the football boys during lunch? Jon and Seb sat here for obvious reasons but-

“Hey guys.” Jordan’s deep voice rumbled over the table causing all heads to turn in his direction. Jon and Seb reached over to give him that weird boy handshake thing while Izzy and Maia kind of just stared. Helen, Aline, Simon and Alec however, were eating like nothing had happened. Which, Clary guessed, nothing had. Jordan sat down in a chair he pulled from a nearby table next to Sebastian. Not exactly ideal placement but...He was just saying hello to his friends. Jace was nibbling on a breadstick seemingly uninterested.

Jordan’s voice drifted out again, “Clary?” Nevermind. 

Clary looked at Jordan for a second before realizing she still had a slice of pizza halfway to her mouth. She set it down and wiped her hands before turning her body to look at him past Izzy and Jonathan, who both had curious expressions on their faces. No doubt they were wondering when the hell Clary and Jordan entered speaking terms. 

“Y-yeah?” Did he think this through at all? In front of Jon and Seb (her brothers, one of them was still his teammate), all her friends and in the middle of the cafeteria? In front of Jace? What was she supposed to do? 

“I was wondering,” Clary noticed he sounded a little less confident now that everyone at the table was looking at him. Maybe he didn’t think this through. “Would you maybe want to go out with me sometime?” 

There it was. The yes or no question. Obviously the answer was a no. Clary was in love with Jace no matter how much it hurt. No question about it. 

But she couldn’t say that. Could she? No, their relationship was a secret and the more Clary thought about it the angrier it made her, the stupider she felt. Here was this perfectly nice, funny guy ready to take Clary out on an actual date and what? She was going to reject him for a boy who didn’t even want to date her? Who only wanted to fuck her? 

The happy look on Jordan’s pretty face was falling and Clary couldn’t handle it. She couldn’t handle being the reason something so pretty looked so wilted. 

“I-I’m not sure, let me think about it?” That obviously wasn’t what Jordan had wanted to hear considering his smile wasn’t nearly as wide as it could have been. But he was smiling nonetheless. Izzy gave a small gasp. 

“Sure. Just let me know.” Jordan got up and he was about to walk away but Clary just couldn’t let him without...

“You’re coming to the party tonight right? At my place?” Izzy gasped again and wiggled in her seat, no doubt ready to ref a fight. Sebastian and Jonathan had always been protective of her, especially when it came to dating. When Clary and Simon had attempted dating during freshman year they had cornered and shaken him so badly Clary had yelled at them before hand feeding Simon grapes while they watched Soul Eater in her room.

Jordan cast an unsure glance back at the twins. Jonathan was looking at Jordan as if for the first time. Sebastian was looking at Jace with a bemused expression on his face. 

“You’re still invited.” Sebastian laughed as he said it, like it was a given. He kept looking at Jace as if waiting for a reaction. 

Once Jordan walked away Izzy rounded on Clary and smacked her in the arm repeatedly while Jace just stared at her with an unreadable expression on his face. What would he say? 

“What the hell?” Clary was bewildered at the abuse she was receiving. 

Izzy hissed, “Jordan Kyle just asked you out and you say let me think about it?! He is easily the hottest guy in this school right behind your brothers-”

“What about Alec? Girls say he's hot too.” Clary was doing her best not to answer Izzy’s question. 

“Alec is my brother, ew, anyways-”

“The twins are my brothers!”

“Not the point-”

“Simon and Jace are hot too.” Aline piped in not so helpfully. Izzy cast her a glare before zeroing in on Clary again. Clary noticed the boys looking at the pair of them with laughter in their eyes. Oh, this was just sooo funny wasn’t it? Not only were their egos being inflated but they were witnessing a famous Isabelle Lightwood interrogation. 

“Why’d you tell him maybe?” Izzy asked again, less accusing and more curious. 

Why did she tell him maybe? First of all Maia obviously liked him. If Clary didn’t already know that she would have by now. Maia was looking down at her third slice of pizza not even attempting to eat it when she could usually rival Simon in food consumption. What was Clary supposed to say to Maia?  _ Hey girl sorry about that I know you like him and I have no real intention of dating him but see-- I’m kind of hooking up with Jace on the low and I am getting tired of being his side piece so I wanted to show him that other people want me because I’m in love with him and I want him to want me the way I want him.  _ No. That is what happened but she couldn’t say that. 

“I don’t know. I was going to tell him no-” 

“No?!” shrieked Izzy. Obviously she viewed this as worse than a maybe. 

“I was going to tell him no but he looked sad! I can’t stand making people sad so I said maybe!” Izzy was leaning forward with her hand propping up her head, pizza and breadsticks forgotten. “I guess it would have been better to tell him no but.. I don’t know.. Maybe I’ll say yes.” Clary chanced a look over at Jace who she had carefully avoided looking at up until now. He was staring down at his food, eyes shining like she had never seen before. There were splashes of color high on his cheeks and his hands were clenched into fists. Was he upset that their arrangement might end? It was kind of an unspoken rule that it would have to, if one of them were to enter a relationship. 

What if this spat back in Clary’s face? What if he went to the party tonight, forgot about Clary and took some other lucky girl up to his room for the night? What if he thought she didn’t want him anymore? What if he ended things before she even got a chance to tell him-? 

Izzy had obviously wanted to talk about this more but Clary did not. After the boys cleared out Clary asked Aline, Helen, Maia and Isabelle if they could come over right after school. She and Jace may have agreed to make this relationship a secret but Clary needed to talk about this. She needed someone to tell her what the hell to do. 

* * *

  
  
  


“So let me get this straight.” Aline said, twirling a piece of hair between two fingers. Aline was sitting on the foot end of Clary’s bed with Helen’s head in her lap. Izzy was splayed out like a french model in the middle while Maia and Clary sat with their backs against Clary’s headboard. She had just finished updating them on the Saga of Clary and Jace and their Non-Existent Relationship. Clary had been apprehensive at first that Maia wouldn’t take to the girls very easily and vice versa but she was pleasantly surprised. They all blended from casual acquaintance to friends seamlessly. 

“You, Clarissa Morgenstern, have a massive crush on-  _ excuse me _ \-- you are in love with Jace Herondale and instead of telling him, you decided to offer a boy with no real attachment to anyone romantically, a friends with benefits relationship? With the girl he practically lives with? Meaning he would have virtually unlimited access. Has it ever occurred to you that he might be using you?!” Aline was always one to call it like it was and Clary did not like how it was when she said it out loud. 

Aline and Helen shared a look. Clary assumed they were silently agreeing that Clary was dumb. Clary was not inclined to argue with them. She had hoped, at the beginning of this, that Jace would see her as more than a little sister eventually. Obviously he never saw her as that if he could sleep with her-- something he could never do with Izzy who was hotter than Clary by a long shot-- what if he  _ was _ using her? But wasn’t that what a friends with benefits relationship was? Using your friend for sexual gratification and giving them the same in return? Wasn’t she doing the same thing to him? Moreso by not telling him about her feelings?

“Now wait a minute--” Izzy said, “Jace loves her! He wouldn’t use her!” Seeing Clary’s crushed face Izzy backtracked, “I-I mean he loves you as a friend! Ugh! No. I mean-- Fuck! I mean that even if Jace doesn't love you like  _ that _ he would never use you.” 

Somehow that did not make Clary feel better. 

Before anyone said anything else Clary turned to Maia and smiled sheepishly. “I’m sorry about lunch. I know I told you I didn’t like him but.. I have to admit I wanted to see what Jace would do.” Clary wanted to know if she was worth him making a scene over. A valiant declaration of love or at least a good storm off. But no, he had sat there and stared at his plate like nothing happened. 

“Don’t worry girl. I think I might try talking to him some more tonight, like, past the periodic table.” She gave a small laugh and looked around at the other girls who nodded approvingly. Clary loved that Maia got as much encouragement from them as she did from Clary and Simon. Maia had always been fierce and confident but after her dad did what he did… it was harder for her to trust boys other than Simon and her friend Bat. 

  
  


A knock on the door pulled all of them out of girlworld, reminding them that a party was going to start downstairs in an hour. Sebastian peeked his head in with his eyes covered partially. After seeing they were all fully dressed he uncovered his face. 

“Just got back with the kegs and stuff, anything you want me to put aside from the masses?”

“A bottle of rum and a bottle of Tequila.” Izzy said without blinking, pushing Sebastian’s head back out of the room and slipping out of the door with him. 

“Is something going on with those two?” Helen asked as she sniffed one of Clary’s perfumes. Clary had no problem with this specific group of girls poking around her room. Anyone else would be met with one of the knives or the gun Clary had hidden in her room, just like everywhere else in the house. 

Izzy slipped back into the room at some point with clothes thrown over her arms. She placed the two bottles Sebastian had secured for them on Clary’s coffee table. Aline, Helen and Maia hadn’t gone home to change so they were going to have to pick from either Clary or Isabelle’s wardrobe. Helen decided to brave it and poked around the pile Izzy threw onto the bed while Aline went straight for Clary’s closet and came out with a skirt Clary could have sworn she said she could never have pulled off- Aline threw the skirt at Clary.

“Put this on.” Oh. This was happening. The skirt was made of flowy fabric that swished around the thighs. There was glitter or something woven into the fabric cause it would sparkle like that weird snapchat filter when it hit the light a certain way. Aline went back into the closet to find something for herself while Isabelle tossed a baby blue crop top at Clary. 

“You have to change into a T-shirt bra for that one.” And when Helen placed a pair of strappy black heels in front of her Clary knew what they were doing. 

“Hello? The problem is that Jace  _ only  _ wants to sleep with me! Dressing hot isn’t gonna make him fall in love with me!” Clary felt blood rushing to her face at her outburst. Her frustration for the situation had not deterred since their talk. If anything the girl talk made her even more nervous. What if Clary didn’t get to tell Jordan no before Jace assumed something? What if she walked downstairs to find him pressing some other girl against a wall?

“Clary. Girl.” Maia was dressed in a jean skirt from Clary’s closet, using a black silk shawl as a belt because it wouldn’t button over her tummy. She had opted to just cut one of Simon’s old shirts into a crop top instead of trying to sift through the pile of glitter and satin that was on the bed. 

“Jace needs to realize what he will lose if he doesn’t get his head on straight. Now. Your hair needs a brush taken to it and some Izzy magic.” Maia smiled and walked over to Helen, who was struggling to zip up the purple dress she wore. Aline was on the floor pulling on some nude heels to compliment the dark blue skirt and plain white fitted T-shirt she picked. 

Izzy, dressed in a tight black dress that hugged every one of her curves and six inch stilettos, took that as her que to flounce over and begin fixing the mess that was Clary’s hair. 

“I know you probably don’t want to hear it again but I know both you and Jace. He’s practically my brother and you're basically my sister, however weird that is.” She paused and nibbled her lip before starting again, “But I have to say that if you don’t want to lose him that way, talk to him. You won’t regret it.” Isabelle gave her a look that said  _ that's all you get now face the mirror.  _

Clary was going to make sure that by the end of the night, Jordan knew she was not interested. Maybe if he didn’t hate her, Jordan would take her advice on who he should think about asking out. 

  
  
  


Clary could not find Jace. She and the rest of the girls had pregamed pretty well up in Clary’s room so she wasn’t going to be drinking anymore tonight; but she was about to snatch the blunt out of her brother's hand. Clary had cleared things up with Jordan half an hour ago and felt considerably lighter. He had immediately guessed that Jace was the guy Clary had feelings for and she had been greatly offended by her own obviousness and his lack of tact. If Jordan knew, did Jace? If he did, why did he agree to sleep with her if he didn’t even l _ ike like _ her? The answer to that question made Clary’s stomach feel empty. When she had mentioned Maia, Jordan became less interested in Clary’s failing love life and far more interested in Maia’s favorite food (triple meat pizza with a side of hot wings).

Sebastian was busy at the beer pong table, Jonathan was flirting with a girl from the mathletes team who looked nervous but happy to be there. Izzy was dancing around Simon like a snake teasing its prey (seriously what was going on there?), Aline and Helen were making out and being gawked at by a couple freshman, obviously loving the attention. Alec had finally caught on apparently because he was pulling Magnus up to what might as well be his room. Maia was talking to Jordan (!!!) but where was Jace? 

Suddenly a pair of arms wrapped around her from behind. Cary tensed for a second before relaxing into the familiar embrace. They really should not be doing this out in the open, even if the girls now knew, the boys and Simon did not. Jace smelled like soap and smoke so Clary was not inclined to care. 

Jace leaned forward to lick the shell of Clary’s ear. Clary shivered and sank back further in his arms, oblivious to Sebastian’s eyes on them. 

“Let’s go up to my room.” Clary suggested and Jace was not about to argue. He gripped her hand and pulled her up the stairs, still oblivious to Sebastian’s look of distaste. 

  
  
  
  
  


Jace was relentless. Clary had expected some jealousy, some fierce kissing to show her who she was with almost every night but nothing like this. This rough, bruising, absolutely delicious assault on all of her senses. He was all over her, nibbling and kissing and licking and biting all over every inch of her he could reach and she was completely at his mercy.

Jace was kissing her so frantically she could barely keep up all she could feel was him, the heat seeping from his body and being absorbed by her own. The kiss was all tongue and teeth, they were biting each other’s lips so hard there was the smallest amount of blood.

  
  


Clary knew he was trying to prove a point. But to whom she did not know. At this point, everyone knew she was gone for him. The girls at least, knew. The partygoers downstairs might eventually hear them if the pause between songs lasted over a second. Jace has nothing to prove because she is completely and totally his. If only more than his libido wanted her. 

  
  
  


His whole body was pinning Clary to her bedroom door. They were pressed so tightly together she could feel the rapid beat of his heart that matched her own and the gasping breaths he took between kisses. She could feel his bulge pressing against her hip, right next to where his thigh was moving back and forth, rubbing her clit through her underwear. The glitzy skirt Aline had thrown at her was nothing to stop the sex god invading her personal space. 

  
  
  
  


Jace was furious. Jordan hadn’t really done anything wrong, just asked out a pretty girl. Jace knew that this territorial behavior was going to bite him in the ass tomorrow but he didn’t care. He also knew he had no real right to be jealous because for all intents and purposes Clary was single. They were friends with benefits and she did not have feelings for him but honestly,  _ fuck _ that guy. 

As soon as her room door closed his lips were on hers as he crowded her against the wall. When she returned the kiss he placed his hands on either side of her, keeping her right where he wants her. He kisses her with everything he feels and then some hoping she understands that this is so much more to him than sex. That if she ended things and went on dates and got a boyfriend he would die inside because there is not one other person in the world he wants. 

“J-Jace, there are people--” her sentence was cut off with a gasp when he rubbed his thigh against her pussy, groaning at the wetness he can feel gathering on his jeans. She snaked her arms around his neck and pulled him closer, biting his lips and sucking on his tongue. He enjoys it for a few seconds before he pulls away from her mouth and begins kissing down her jaw. Jace drags his teeth along her collarbone and she shivers, nails digging into the fabric of his shirt. She is trying her hardest to stifle her sounds, biting her own lip now to keep from moaning and whining like she always does. Jace suddenly remembers that Jordan is actually downstairs and decides Clary’s silence is unacceptable. 

He looks up for a moment to look at her expression. Clary is rosy cheeked and gasping, mouth open in a perfect O, kissed to swollen red perfection. Her eyes are so dark he can see his reflection in them. Jace kisses her again with reckless abandon. He buries his hands in her hair and tugs, eliciting a moan from her pretty mouth. 

Jace licks over her mouth once before he suddenly drops to his knees taking her panties down to her ankles with him. He moves each of her feet to step out of them and shoves the scrap of fabric in his jacket pocket. He presses kisses along the top of her thighs, relishing in the shiver that rolls through her. 

“Jace, are you sure it’s a good idea? I mean- all of our friends are downstairs and-- ah!” Clary is cut off with a gasp as his lips land on her lower ones. She immediately starts moaning and wiggling, scrambling for purchase against the door and the back of his head. 

“It’ll be worth it baby.” Once he is done talking he goes to town. He grips her knee, throwing it over his shoulder for a better angle. Clary shifts her hips to give him as much access as he wants. Jace loves the way she gives herself to him so easily. He wraps his arms around her thighs to keep her in place and licks a broad stripe up her pussy and assaults her clit in one motion. She bites her hand, obviously trying to keep quiet but Jace doesn’t want her to be quiet. He wants people to hear her moaning for him. Wants everyone to know how good he makes her feel. 

He brings her clit into his mouth and sucks hard. He decides its not enough and brings a hand back around, separating her folds with his index and ring finger while plunging his middle one into her heated, dripping core. He nibbles lightly on her clit at the same time causing her to actually scream. 

“Fuck--Jace! Ohh my god--” 

She’s moaning above him with abandon, tossing her head against the door and pulling his head impossibly closer with one hand. Clary began to grind against his face, allowing him to take over her pleasure. Trusting him to give her what she needs. Jace thrusts his finger in and out of her, quickly joined by another. With two fingers pumping in and out of her while Jace sucks on and licks and bites around her clit Clary is a whimpering mess. She has one hand buried on his hair, gripping hard but unmoving. 

Her knees buckle and Jace knows she's close. He licks her clit a few times, sucking and biting her lower lips. As he did this he pushed his fingers back into her curling them perfectly to pull a shuddering gasp out of her. 

“Right-- fuck!-- there!” 

Jace feels it when she orgasms, as he always does. She begins to shake and her other leg is over his shoulder now. Clary’s thighs clench around his head tightly, further burying his face in her pussy. She moans uncontrollably as she grinds against his face, always desperate for more. He is holding her up like a gentleman, working her through the aftershocks of her knee buckling orgasm. 

He only stops his attention to the most sensitive part of her when she pushes his head away with a shaky laugh. There were small clicks as her heels came back to rest on the floor. 

“What was that about?” 

  
  
  


He smiled wickedly as he got up, getting in her face enough for her to hear the heat of his words. His eyes glitter with something dangerous and suddenly there is a whole other gush of arousal flowing through her. 

“Oh baby. I am not even near done with you.” 

Before she can even blink he picks her up and actually throws her on the bed. Jace takes a moment to pull off his shirt before pausing, “You want this right?” 

Ever the gentlemen. Clary actually laughs and gets onto her knees on the bed, pulling her top, skirt and heels off in record time. 

“If you don’t fuck me right now, someone else will.” She tilts her head to the side with a smirk on her face and Jace swears she knows exactly what her words are doing. 

Jace, who has craved to mark Clary as his since he realized he loved her, did not hesitate to crawl on top of her. His mouth came down hard on her and his hands began working up her torso, fingers playing with her breasts as his tongue invaded her mouth. 

Her hands begin to push at his boxers as his fingers unhook and toss her bra aside. 

“Fuck me.” Clary says, breathing hotly against his ear. “Fuck me now.” As if he needs encouragement she trails her fingers down his chest grazing his rock hard member. It always knocks the breath out of him, the way she asks for what she wants with zero shame. 

Not needing to be told twice he begins to rub himself against her, gasping as she rakes her fingers down his bare back. 

“You’re mine.” He says kissing just under her ear. Jace seeks out her hands with his and intertwines their fingers, pinning her arms above her head. Her body is taunt and sticky with sweat from their lovemaking and Jace is determined to show her how deep his love is for her, how desperate his need to be loved by her is. If he can’t tell her he’d show her. 

Clary grinds her hips against him, struggling slightly against his hands and letting out a huff when he chuckles. He knows that if she really wanted out of the position she would say something. She has her legs locked around his hips and nothing has ever felt more right. 

He lets go of one hand and almost moans when she keeps it where he left it. Jace reaches down and grips his cock, pumping twice before rubbing up and down her slit. He lets his cockhead run over her clit. He moves and pushes into her deep enough for her to sign but not feel any real satisfaction just yet. Clary begins to squirm and whine under him, dragging her hips seeking friction. 

“Jace please,” she drags her teeth over his neck, biting on his pulsepoint, “Please.” 

It takes all his willpower but Jace manages to ignore her in favor of pressing her body further into the mattress with his own. He captures her lips again, needing to memorize the feel of her mouth on his. Jace grips her hair in one hand and she spreads her legs wider. He breaches her again and she lets out a happy little sigh and then huffs sexily when he retracts. 

Jace drags his teeth over her lips, nipping at her lower one, “Do you want me?”

She groans, dragging his mouth to hers by his hair giving a resounding ‘yes’ against his mouth. 

  
  
  


Jace enters her completely all at once and suddenly she can’t breath. All Clary can feel is him. His cock between her legs, his hands in her hair and pinning her down, his mouth pressing kisses all over her face and sucking hickeys into the skin of her neck. 

The sensation is so overwhelming she sees stars. Jace lets go of her other hand and grips her hip, fingers digging into her skin on purpose. He moves in and out of her slowly, ever aware of his waning patience. 

Clary is slurring unintelligible words while rocking her hips back and forth, meeting his thrusts with her own. 

“Fuck-- so good.” Jace moans into her mouth and snaps his hips into hers even harder. She’s whispering in his ear,  _ right there!, harder, please, please. _ The sound of her losing control all because of him ignites another fire in his chest, one that demands him to pleasure her further. He picks up the pace, fucking her furiously into the mattress. She flutters around his cock and whimpers in pleasure. 

“I--” she stutters, cock drunk and gasping, “Please.” Her legs grip his hips impossibly tighter and her arms wind around his neck. She’s holding him so close he can almost convince himself that she loves him. 

“Come for me.” He gasps, 

It takes a few more hard perfectly angled thrusts and a furious rub to her clit for her to come apart. She lets go completely, shaking uncontrollably. He continues to snap his hips into hers repeatedly. Deciding he is not quite done yet, Jace reaches down and grips her leg, bringing one ankle over his shoulder, pounding into her with a renewed vigor. Clary’s body arches as he holds her hips still as best he can. She can feel another orgasm quickly approaching and she swears it has to be some kind of record. 

She cries out as she buries her fingers in his hair and pulls him closer as she comes for a third time that night. Jace whimpers against her mouth and stills suddenly shoving his face into her neck, 

“I love you-- Fuck, I love you so much.” Jace babbles against her neck as he explodes inside of her, loving the shiver that rolls through her. 

They lay there for a few minutes until Jace regains control of his limbs enough to pull out of her and lay back on the bed. Breathing hard, toes tingling from the mindblowing oragasm she just had, Clary snuggles into Jace’s side. It's only when they settle into the bed with his arm around her shoulder and her head on his chest, legs intertwined that she dares ask the question. 

“Did you mean it? What you said?”

He doesn’t even crack an eye open. “What did I say?” 

“Nothing.” Disappointed but not surprised, Clary settles against his chest and closes her eyes. 

  
  


Eyes snapping open Jace inhales sharply. 

_ “I love you-- Fuck, I love you so much.”  _

  
  
  


Eventually the music dies and footsteps are heard on the stairs. He doesn’t move because he had locked the door before he began ravishing her like a bodice ripper from a grocery store novel. Jace doesn’t sleep a wink all night while Clary snoozes on his chest. He grips her tighter, runs his fingers through her hair hoping she doesn't hate him. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> first off I would like to say that this is my first story with smut I have ever written besides 'always you' (which only has like two sex scenes). Please be nice to me. 
> 
> Also! I realized I have a lot of little stories that I want to tell for this verse but I don't want to drown the clace smut/story with things that aren't exactly important for their development. I was thinking of making a series like 'the Clave Cartel AU' with this fic and other little ones based off other characters development during this story. (Sebastian, Sizzy, Jonathan, Malec etc.) There are little hints in HF of what the little sidestories would be but you, obviously, wouldn't know what those hints are. ;) let me know if side stories are something you would be interested in reading!
> 
> As always comments are appreciated. 
> 
> Give me validation and motivation please. :)


	4. feelings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> here we go yall

_ Saturday morning _

Clary woke up extremely warm and sticky. The white gold expanse of skin under her and the ache between her legs told her that last night had not been a dream, Jace really had teased her until she was begging, made her come in record time (three times!!) and, Delirious from his orgasm, had said he  _ loved her _ . Jace Herondale told her he loved her and when she asked him if he meant it he didn’t even know what she was talking about. 

Clary felt like crying while simultaneously wishing she could kick him in the shin knowing she could do neither. Looking up at him, Clary realized that Jace was it for her. He was a jerk to everyone but he had an unlimited capacity for love. He had been the one to make sure little Emma Carstairs didn’t end up in a group home when her parents died. The Clave took care of their own, especially in death. Because the Carstairs had been killed so violently they, Clary’s father and his most trusted inner circle thought it best to send her away so she wouldn’t be targeted in the future. Jace had defended the little girl that no one listened to and worked it out so that she could live with her best friend Julian and her second family, the Blackthorns until her older cousin James could be contacted. Jace had taken on a sort of responsibility for the young girl, overseeing her training and asking how school was going. 

  
  


He looked so peaceful when he was asleep. His golden blonde hair was an absolute mess from how desperately she had yanked it along with the tossing he did throughout the night. His plush lips were parted slightly, sending out little puffs of air that made Clary's bangs drift slightly. His tan skin was littered with the faintest bruises that Clary had made with her mouth the night before. She had been so consumed by the heavenly fire that ran through her veins, the heat that felt it could run forever that she didn't even recall sucking those bruises into his collarbone and neck. There was one in particular, just over his pulse point, that was a deep shade of red tinged with purple. Her cheeks flamed at the idea of Jace walking around with the shape of her mouth stamped on his neck. They had left hickies on each other before but never anywhere they would be seen. 

  
  


Clary did her best to slip out from his arms without waking him. When he started shifting and groping around the bed searching for her body Clary shoved a pillow into his arms and watched him settle again with a happy smile on his face. The blanket they shared was up to his hips, the lanes of his abs tempting and smooth. Clary felt hot tears in her eyes as she collected a pair of leggings and one of Jonathan’s football shirts to wear after her shower. 

  
  


Clary liked long showers with music. They gave her time to think and when the thinking became too much the music provided a good enough reason to pretend she was performing in front of millions of adoring fans. In the middle of washing her hair Clary decided she would have to talk to Jace. She would obviously have to tell him how she felt about him and the idea made her stomach drop fifty feet. They had had sex a countless number of times, she had exposed herself to him with zero shame and trusted him beyond what she had ever known before; yet Clary was nervous to talk about feelings. Jace’s possible reaction was wearing on her nerves already. He had said ‘I love you’ last night. Three words they had said to each other almost carelessly until he turned fifteen. 

Fourteen year old Clary had found Jace kissing a girl in his room and since then, she had refused to tell him I Love You. That feeling of her heart being ripped out of her chest when she didn’t even know what it felt like to kiss him was nothing like the feeling she had now. Like every nerve in her body was shutting down. Like she was drowning in a love she didn’t fully understand. 

  
  
  


The night before, when Clary suggested going up to her room, she had every intention of talking to him. Getting everything out in the open so they could figure out where their relationship, if you could even call it that, was going. When Jace had pressed the length of his body against hers and kissed her like she was the only source of air he could find all thoughts of  _ talking  _ left her mind. Now that that was over Clary was back to agonizing. 

What would happen if Jace didn’t return her feelings? He would probably apologize even if this was in no way his fault because that's just what Jace does. He takes the blame for everything. What if he  _ pities _ her? That would hurt worse than anything. Seeing a guilty uncomfortable look on his face whenever she walked into a room would kill her. 

  
  


After toweling off her hair Clary opened her bedroom door to see Jace and all his clothes gone. Her heart dropped. A folded piece of paper with her name on it was on her bedside table. Quickly, Clary scuttled over and snatched it up to read. 

_ Had to leave, sorry.  _

Clary’s shoulders fell along with her face. Her plan to talk this out with him evaporated along with her resolve. What if this was what they were meant to be? 

If Clary didn’t know any better she’d say Jace had been jealous last night. Was he really upset at the possibility that she might date someone? He had told her he  _ loved  _ her. He wouldn’t have said it if he didn’t mean it. Isabelle had said that Jace did love Clary even if it was in a friendly way. Maybe that was what he meant. It was hard to tell what he was thinking when he worked so hard to keep a wall up. It was as if it was like fancy frosty glass, transparent and easy to see through when they were with friends but when they were alone he remained the same Jace with something missing, not exactly gone but… diluted. 

If Jace didn’t mean what he said, Clary would end things. It would hurt like hell and no doubt be awkward for a while but it would be okay. She could move on, find someone who actually wants to be in a real relationship. Did she even need a relationship? She was only seventeen and there would be plenty of time for relationships later. Maybe Clary could focus on figuring out whether or not she’ll be attending college after High School. Relationships were hard work. She wasn’t even in a real one and it was exhausting. 

Annoyed with how much was going on in her head Clary decided to go for a run. Usually, Clary never did any more physical activity than strictly necessary; the idea of a burning in her lungs instead of in her heart was more appealing than sulking in her room refusing to text Jace. Also, she was not yet ready to admit to the girls she had let him sex her up rather than talk to him. 

Jonathan told the usual breakfast attendees that he had plans Saturday morning so they were on their own for their morning meal today. Clary, upset that there was no coffee, decided to pick something up from the cafe a couple blocks down. 

Clary managed to make it three times around the block before the pit in her stomach finally swallowed her up and forced her to go home. Having not grabbed anything from the cafe Clary scavenged a yogurt cup, a banana and a muffin from Sebastian's stash after popping a little plastic pod into her mother's barely used Kurig. A dark green car Clary didn’t recognize was parked down the street in front of Madame Dorthea’s. Whoever was parked in that car had taken off by the time Clary made her last lap around the block. She had texted a description of the car to Luke, her father’s best friend and head of the Alicante police department. While the police department was in the Clave’s pocket, Luke was the only member of the department to have direct involvement in the Clave’s activity. He might also be sleeping with her mother but Clary didn’t feel like going too far into that. 

  
  


* * *

  
  


If Clary thought she had it bad, she was happy to look around. On Sunday afternoon before the Clave’s monthly meeting Robert Lightwood had been caught in the act with his mistress by Isabelle and she, in turn, threw Max’s PS4 at him. Alec, perhaps for the same reason, was nowhere to be found. Magnus was not returning Clary’s calls even though she desperately needed to talk to him. Jace had been M.I.A. since Saturday morning; Stephen had come back from Paris with Celine and a dark haired, smug blue eyed boy named Will that happened to be Stephen’s love child from his youth. 

The Clave Sunday evening meeting was boring as usual. Something about threats and Aldertree trying to expose the pharmaceutical company, the Citadel opening another store in Los Angeles where the Blackthorns would move to run it. 

Sebastian was acting weird as well. For a while Clary noticed his change in demeanor. He was  _ sad _ . There was really no other word to describe it. He was still snappy and conceited but his smile always fell when he thought no one was looking. He was biting his nails more and playing with some bracelet Clary had never seen before. Clary’s usually sarcastic, trouble-making brother had become quiet and only spoke when addressed at the meeting when usually he would butt in wherever comfortable. Jonathan seemed to be the only Morgenstern sibling enjoying their time on earth as of late. 

  
  


_ Monday _ __

  
  
  


Jace and Alec had not shown up to school. Isabelle had assured Clary that both of them were okay and to not worry so much. Magnus had texted Clary an apology for ignoring her and promised they could go shopping this Friday. When she had asked how things were going with Alec he had texted, 

_ I’m done with Alec.  _

Whatever that meant Clary did not want to know. Alec had made it clear that none of them were to go near his love life and Clary did not feel like ending up on the wrong side of a pissed off Alec. Magnus would have never done anything to hurt him on purpose and Clary had bigger things to worry about. Like this growing feeling that something was wrong beyond what anyone knew. Clary had divulged her worries to Simon over the phone as she painted and sketched her feelings until her hands were sore. He had told her not to worry, that nothing would happen. Clary wished she could believe him. 

  
  
  


12:30 p.m.

  
  


Alec had texted their group chat earlier that morning about skipping the last half of the day together if they were down. The gang immediately agreed, decided in a few messages they would go to the movies. Gym class was by far the easiest to sneak out of and Clary was doing just that.  After changing back into her ripped jeans and basic t shirt Clary grabbed her backpack and slipped through the hole in the gate on the side of the gym to get to the front parking lot faster.

Leaning against a car looking like some kind of model was Jace. His blonde hair was perfectly messy as always. He wore a regular white T-shirt, leather jacket, black jeans and his usual boots. He was laughing at something he said while Alec looked sullen in the driver’s seat. As Clary approached the car she noticed that Alec had dark rings under his eyes, like he hadn’t had a good night's rest in a couple days. He was also gone back to hunching his shoulders and trying to be the smallest person in the room while simultaneously the tallest. 

Who knew one weekend could kick so many asses at once. At least Jace seemed okay. 

He noticed her approaching first. Jace turned his head with a hard look on his face and looked her over from the black soles of her vans to the black headband in her hair. Gym class, despite all her non effort, always made her sweaty. Just watching other people exercise was exhausting. 

From the corner of her eye Clary saw Isabelle and Jonathan hustling their way through the front doors. The office aids probably saw them leaving but were too lazy to really do anything about it. They stood chattering for a bit until Sebastian showed up looking noticeably happier than he had the day before. 

This was not the first time they had left school together and it certainly would not be the last. Clary, wondering where the hell they were going, was the first to break the comfortable silence. 

“Where are we going Alec?” Izzy began running a brush from her backpack through Clary’s tangled hair, making the redhead winch. She let it slide because of what was happening with her parents.

They had a big responsibility in the Clave;The Lightwoods ran the shipments schedule. They knew what was coming in, what they were sending out, how much of what and when it was set to arrive. Instead of giving the responsibility to Robert as default Valentine gave it to Maryse as a sort of  _ hey sorry your husband is cheating on you (which I knew about but didn’t say anything because he was my friend first) but here take what he thought was his _ . Valentine and his inner circle had reassigned Robert to work on the investigation into Aldertree’s whereabouts and goals. Clary laughed inwardly at the word investigation. Like any of what her father and his friends did was legal. 

“The movies.” 

Clary was about to ask why when Isabelle whispered in her ear, “Something happened with Magnus; he needs this.” Clary knew that when she said  _ he needs this _ she really meant  _ he needs us _ . No matter how much Alec liked to pretend they all annoyed him beyond repair he loved them just as much as they loved him. Alec had never been one to talk things to death but he had told Clary once after hitting a twelve pack of beer a little too hard that he loved just being around them. Because they, along with his siblings, were the only constants in his life. With his parents setting off to different locations. Clary’s heart went out to him. Magnus was not an easy guy to forget even if you met him in passing. With him being the first guy Alec let himself be with Alec was bound to be hurt by whatever happened for a while. 

Clary longed for the days before infidelity and suspicious cars and secret hookups. When they would skip school and go on road trips together. They’d stop at mom and pop convenience stores and stock up on snacks before driving to some odd destination and back while smoking and talking to their heart's content. Isabelle and Clary would belt out their favorite Glee numbers and Alec would refuse to acknowledge that he knew every word. Sebastian would wrap all the lyrics of The Real Slim Shady. The days when the line between friends and family wasn’t so blurred. 

Jace ended up plugging in an aux cord and was only able to play one Lil Uzi song before Alec whipped the car into a parking spot and everyone clambered out. When they arrived inside to look at the showtimes Alec contemplated the titles for a moment then looked at Isabelle who was standing next to Clary practically vibrating. 

Clary knew she wanted to see one particular movie to be able to tell Max she saw it before he did. Despite how much his nine year old self liked to pretend he was too cool for Disney movies he loved them just as much as Isabelle. Alec could apparently read his sister’s mind since he told the ticket guy, “Six adults for Frozen 2.”

Jace and Sebastian, who had been looking at the showtimes for Terminator Dark Fate and the showing of the ever classic Bad Boys, looked appalled at this statement. After Alec paid for and got the tickets they headed over to the arcade area of the theater since their show time wasn't for another half hour.

Isabelle challenged Alec to a game of air hockey while Jonathan and Jace played basketball on those machines that moved every few shots. Sebastian walked over to where Clary was leaning against an out of order Pacman machine that had been broken since sixth grade. They watched their friends for a few minutes before Sebastian broke the silence.

“I know about you and Jace.” 

Clary’s blood went cold. She felt the blood rush from her face as she swirled her head in her brother’s direction. “What do you mean?”

Sebastian moved so their shoulders were touching. He was watching Jace and Jonathan play their third rematch as he spoke, “I saw you two canoodling at the party and literally everyone heard what happened afterwards,” She didn’t know what to be more shocked at. His casual declaration or her brother’s use of the word canoodling. He raised an eyebrow and Clary felt her face go as red as her hair. “I knew before then actually.” 

Clary stared at him for a minute before nudging him as a silent  _ go on _ . 

“You guys are really obvious.” He smirked at Clary’s horrified face and plowed on, “Your room is right across from mine, I can hear him sneaking in and out. I see you two slip away at literally every party. The way he looks at you-”

“How does he look at me?” Clary asked, genuinely curious.  _ Like he loves me? _ She wanted to ask. Sebastian was good at reading people and if Jace looked at her a certain way he would know what it meant. 

Sebastian looked at her with a suddenly stony face. “You don’t know?” At Clary’s blank expression he asked, “Aren’t you two together?” 

Clary froze. Sebastian thought they were together? Was that what Jace told him? Is this why he was gone Saturday morning? How was she supposed to correct him? He didn’t want to hear about his little sister’s sexcapades with one of his best friends. 

“No, we’re not together.” Clary spoke flatly. Defeated with embarrassment she went on, “We’re only having sex but…” Sebastian was her brother. He wouldn’t make fun of her for this. “I like him.  _ A lot _ . Love him even.” Clary’s whole body felt like it was on fire. Not the nice comforting kind that Jace brought. The uncomfortable kind that came with a twisted gut and sweaty hands. 

“He’s only having sex with you?” Sebastian looked over at Jace before looking back at Clary. Sebastian looked genuinely frazzled at this information. Suddenly he straightened up and pulled Clary into a side hug by hooking an arm around her neck. The last time Sebastian had hugged her like this had been after he was almost killed in a drive by. 

“You need to end that or figure it out Clare-bear. I don’t want to see you get hurt.” He smiled down at her one more time before going over to Isabelle and taking the plastic gun from her hands. Isabelle nodded at him before coming over to Clary who was still shocked at her brother’s words.  _ I don’t want to see you get hurt.  _ Why did everyone think she was going to end up the hurt one? 

“Hey girl.” Isabelle was acting casual but Clary knew Sebastian sent her over so she could do whatever it was that Izzy did. 

“So,” Isabelle pulled out her phone and opened snapchat, playing with the filters before holding up her phone so that the both of them were in frame. She spoke casually as she puckered her lips and Clary did the same, “Seb knows you and Jace are screwing.”  _ Snap.  _

“Jace was gone Saturday morning because Seb went into your room that morning and basically interrogated him.”  _ Snap. _

“Jace told him you two were together and that he loved you.” Isabelle switched between filters again then took another picture of just her. Her casual tone was edging on Clary’s nerves. Jace said he loved her?  _ Again? To her brother? _ He kept saying those words. Yet never to Clary's face. 

“Now he finds out that his baby sister is not, in fact, in a real relationship but instead taking part in a sex only, and frankly quite stupid, arrangement.” Clary stared at Isabelle in disbelief for a few minutes as the vixen herself continued to take pictures and send them to a Lord Montgomery. Isabelle was dating some kind of royalty?

A ways away Alec was waving at them while the twins and Jace walked to the bathrooms. Clary pumped her legs double time to keep up with Isabelle’s long strides across the neon colored carpet. Clary purposefully stepped on her lace to unravel it so she could slink back when she saw Jace and Sebastian arguing by the bathrooms. She was ducked behind a wide pillar out of their line of sight. Sebastian shoved Jace enough to make his stumble and Jace pushed him back. Clary was about to step forward when Jonathan stepped out of the bathroom and smacked them both over the head. 

Isabelle and Alec had paired up for buying snacks, Jonathan and Sebastian paired up as well in order to keep their extra salty chocolate drizzled popcorn to themselves. That left a reluctant Jace to pair up with a nervous Clary. When they finally got to the counter Jace knew their order without asking because they had bought snacks together since Clary was thirteen. 

“One large popcorn, a bag of skittles, two bags of cookie dough bites, two large cokes and a bottle of water.” 

“Actually make one of those Cokes a Sprite please.” Clary said softly and the guy nodded. Jace had whipped out his wallet and presented a shiny silver credit card before Clary could reach into her pocket to pull out her mini wallet. Clary pulled her arm around herself in an attempt to conserve what little body heat she had. As the weather has been increasingly colder Clary had taken to wearing more layers to avoid puffy jackets. The thick sweater she was wearing was not doing it for her. The arcade had been decently warm, most likely because of the running machines. It was like the rest of the theater had the A/C on in the sneaking harsh winter. 

Clary shivered again as they waited for their popcorn. Jace made an impatient noise and shoved his leather jacket off his own shoulders and put it over Clary’s. He didn't look at her as he did it. The jacket was made of heavy material and smelled distinctly of Jace. Like weed, soap and something extremely  _ him _ . Clary couldn’t help the fuzzy feeling that filled her heart as she slipped her arms into the sleeves. They were too long and the hem fell past her waist but it was Jace’s. If she had it her way the blonde would never get it back. Maybe if Jace became her boyfriend she could keep it. 

Out of the corner of her eye Clary saw Sebastian give said blonde what could only be described as a stink face. This was what Clary had been worried about. Besides the fear of rejection, it had been the fear of ruining lifelong friendships that had kept Clary from telling Jace how she felt after she figured it out. She didn’t want to be the reason Jace, Sebastian and Jonathan weren’t as close as they were anymore. Jace was their best friend, basically their brother. But Clary was their baby sister. As much as they fought; Clary knew they would side with her over anyone. Including their lifelong friend. 

  
  
  


4:10 p.m.

  
  


The movie was okay really. It was what one would expect a Frozen sequel to be. Absolutely beautiful and full of musical numbers. School was long over by the time they left the dark theater and made their way back to the main lobby. Isabelle suggested they play some more games at the arcade so they did. Clary knew Alec and Isabelle were delaying going home tonight for as long as possible and Jace was avoiding home because of his new brother. 

  
  
  


8:12 p.m. 

  
  


They decided to spend the remainder of the day at the arcade, none of them in any mood to spend time with anyone but each other. After several vicious rematches of air hockey Sebastian got a phone call. Clary knew it was her father on the other side of the line by the tone and one word answers Sebastian was giving consisting of  _ yes sir. Of course. Consider it done.  _ The Clave kids weren’t required to take up the mantle after their parents but Sebastian had made it clear he wanted to. Jonathan had stated long ago that he would always be involved with the Clave as it was his family business but he had other things he wanted to be. 

  
  


Jace, Jonathan and Alec drifted to Sebastian to get the details of the phone call. After what could only be called a huddle Alec turned around and walked over to the girls who were snacking on another bucket of popcorn. 

“That was Valentine.” He looked back at the three blondes behind him who were talking quietly to each other and on phones. “Mom was able to track down the rogue shipping crate Dad lost over their trip to Prague. Penhallow and Verlac are on their way to pick up what's in it but he wants us to meet the stuff at store house three.” Ever since the threat of Aldertree entered the Clave’s radar they had taken extra precautions. Valentine was only putting his most trusted men into action. 

A missing crate with an unknown quantity and caliber of weapons and drugs miraculously shows up the same day a low level dealer in what used to be the Carstairs territory gets shot and killed. The pit in Clary’s stomach dug itself another hundred feet. 

Jace looked over at Clary and locked on her face. His eyes were shining and Clary felt like he was reading her soul the way he reads books. Why did he keep saying he loved her? Would he at least do her the courtesy of saying to her face so she could look into those bright liquid gold eyes and see for herself if he loved her as much as she loved him?

“Sorry but you two are going to have to Uber home.” Sebastian said with zero regret in his voice. All six of them walked outside and Clary immediately pulled Jace’s jacket closer to her body. She had meant to return it but since it was colder than it was when they arrived she decided he could wait to get it back. Jace didn't seem to mind. He was like space heater. 

  
  


The boys made sure Clary and Isabelle got into the Uber and left. On the way home Isabelle squirmed and fidgeted so much the driver asked her if she needed to use the restroom. By the time they got home at eight-thirty Jonathan had texted and told Clary that something else had come up and not to expect them back for a while. What else could come up today? 

  
  
  


10:34 p.m.

  
  


Clary was pulled out of her dream of flashing blades and blinding white light by a sound of shattering glass and an ear splitting scream followed by banging and loud grunts. The foreboding feeling was gone, replaced with the dread she knew was coming. 

Delerious from recent sleep Clary jumped out of bed and looked around. Izzy was not in bed beside her as she was when Clary had fallen asleep. More grunting came from downstairs. Quickly Clary texted Simon and Maia a 1011 (the code they had made back in middle school) and shoved her phone in her pocket. 

A familiar scream came from downstairs. Instead of the shriek of laughter or excitement Clary was so used to hearing from Isabelle it was a scream of fear. Her hand landed on another phone in the jacket pocket and before Clary could think of why Jace wouldn’t ask for his phone before he left, Clary put the device on do not disturb mode and shoved it down the front of her pants. Clary still had her vans on so she walked as silently as possible out of the room and into the hallway. She pulled one of her mother’s paintings off the wall to reveal a fully loaded gun and a six inch blade. She tucked the blade into the sleeve of her jacket the way Jonathan had taught her.  _ Most blades cut with pressure unless they’re really sharp. If you don’t have a sheath stick it in your sleeve hilt towards your palm.  _

She held the gun out in front of her fully ready to shoot the intruders. Clary had only ever had to pull the trigger once before, when a man had tried to kill her mom while they were at the park. Ten year old Clary had reached into her mom's purse while the man waved the gun in her mother's face. Her mother looked so nervous, her face looked just like the people on those cop shows her father hates.  _ Do what you wish with me but please leave my daughter out of this. Don’t you worry about her Mrs.Morg-  _ Her small hands gripped the foreign revolver and squeezed. The bullet landed in his shoulder and sent him sprawling to the floor. Jocelyn came running, nearly tripping over the man and wrapped Clary in a tight hug as Luke and Valentine came running forward.

  
  
  


The memory flashed in Clary’s mind as quick as it had happened. She protected her mother then and she would protect Izzy now. No matter what. 

How did these people manage to get in? How many were there? Did they know the boys weren’t home? What the hell happened to the security system Valentine had in place? Clary crept down the stairs until the living area was in full view. In front of her was a short man tying Isabelle to a lounge chair. She had blood coming out of her mouth and a cut on her arm. A greasy man pointed a gun at Isabelle who was doing her best to look defiant despite the fear Clary knew was there. Two more people stood at the windows, probably watching for approaching vehicles. 

“About time you joined us Clarissa.” The man with the gun was tall, greasy haired with a feral smile. Shaking, Clary found her voice. 

“Let her go.” She motioned towards the now fully bound Isabelle. Clary held the gun steady, trained on the man who was an immediate threat to one of Clary’s best friends. Hands tied behind her back, ankles tied to the legs of the chair with professional looking knots. There was a piece of cloth tied around her head as a gag. There was no way Isabelle could get out of that without a knife. 

“Now now. You are not in any position to make demands. Put the gun-” before he could finish talking Clary did something stupid. She pulled the trigger. The greasy man flinched but his hands didn’t. The bullet soared past his head and into the wall behind him. The man who had been tying Izzy up was now pointing his own gun at Clary. 

Assessing the situation Clary realized what she had to do. Two guns on her, one on Isabelle. She had one gun in her hands but the greasy guy was growing impatient. 

“P-please let her go.” Clary allowed her voice to shake. The 1011 she sent to Simon would tell him to call Luke before heading over here. Hopefully she could buy some time. 

“We can’t do that." He clicked his tongue, "See, we aren’t here for her. Pretty girl just put up too much of a fight to be enjoyable.” The shorter man said as he trailed a single finger down Isabelle’s neck. Izzy moved suddenly, trying to get as far away from the man as she could, tied up as she was. Clary kept her gaze trained on the taller of the two because he seemed to be the one in charge. The two at the windows hadn’t said a word and the short one kept looking at greasy. 

Greasy shuffled closer to Isabelle and pressed the barrel of the gun to her forehead. She did her best not to flinch at the cold metal but Clary saw a tear slip from her eye. 

“It’s simple really, Clary. Either I shoot mini Maryse and you come with us or we leave her here and you come with us. Either way, you come with us. Only one way does your friend survive.” As if to prove his point he pushed the barrel further into Isabelle’s forehead, making her head tilt back as she bit down on her gag. Belatedly, Clary realized the gag was a scarf Isabelle had gotten Jonathan as a birthday present. 

Their lives had never been in direct danger like this. Coups turned gun fights, drivebys, drops and errands. They had been through and done a million dangerous things in the name of the Clave but never had Isabelle and Clary been left alone to face it. Hands shaking Clary knelt down and put her gun on the floor, keeping her gaze on the man threatening Isabelle. The raven haired girl herself was shaking her head furiously. Clary could practically hear what she was thinking.  _ That was your only weapon! Don’t let them bluff you!  _

Clary didn’t think these men were bluffing and she wasn’t willing to make that bet on Isabelle’s life. When Clary got out of the crouching position her phone dinged from inside Jace’s pocket.  _ Perfect. _

“Get her phone Yaxley!” Greasy barked at the shorter man. He jumped at the booming voice of his boss but did as he was told. He looked at the screen before throwing it on the floor and stomping on it. Isabelle was wiggling in her restraints, a fruitless attempt to help Clary. 

“She texted someone, we gotta go.” He nodded to his goons at the window quickly before pointing his gun at Clary’s head. “Walk or your friend dies.” 

Greasy gave a crooked smile before firing a bullet into the arm of the lounge chair Isabelle was tied to. She gave a cry and furious wiggle as the smaller man bound Clary’s hands with a zip tie in front of her. She still had the blade, she realized dizzily. Jace’s jacket was bulky enough to hide the shape of it and Clary’s hair tie was doing a good job at keeping it from slipping out. 

  
  


Before Clary knew it she was being dragged out of her own house and thrown into the dark green car she had been so suspicious of.

...

11:23 p.m. 

  
  


Jace was humming along to the music as Alec drove in the direction of Morgenstern mansion. The crate’s contents were stored safely. All inventory accounted for and recounted by Pontmercy. The boys had been given a pound each for their troubles since they weren’t really supposed to be working today, considering it was a school night. _A school night._ Crime organization they might be, they still cared about their kids education. 

Sebastian was sitting behind Alec, staring at the back of Jace’s head. Jace could feel the contempt radiating off him. On Saturday morning Sebastian busted into Clary’s room and questioned Jace about what he was doing with Clary. Sebastian gave him no room to deny it, talking about how he had suspected something for a while but it was confirmed when they snuck upstairs the night before. Jace had panicked at the cold fury in Sebastian’s inky eyes and said they were in a secret relationship as if that was any better than what they were actually doing. He had also told Sebastian that he loved her, which hadn’t been a lie. 

Sebastian had eased on the hostility after that but something happened at the movie theater to make him hate Jace again. Jace was in no mood to deal with it. 

_ Clary.  _ Gods, that girl owned him. Mind, body and soul. He had been so overcome with jealousy and a desperate need to show her he loved her, that he had told her the three words he had been so careful with over the past two weeks. To make things worse she had heard him and even asked him if he meant it. Jace’s sexhazed brain didn’t register what he said or what she asked until their breathing evened out and she was fast asleep on his chest. 

What did Clary think? That he said that as some kind of empty gesture? Did she think he meant it but didn’t want to really act on it? What if the next time they really talked she ended things before he could tell her how he felt? She didn’t love him back, he knew that. He just wanted to be able to say it to her. Just once. If she rejected him or felt sorry for him he would deal with it. 

Jace decided then and there to tell Clary he loved her and accept whatever came of it.

  
  
  


Alec pulled into the Morgenstern driveway and Jace’s heart dropped. The front door was open. The rest of the boys had apparently seen the same thing because Sebastian and Jonathan had already jumped out of the car, guns in hand. Jace and Alec were right behind them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys, hope you enjoyed. <3  
> constructive criticism and comments are always welcome and greatly appreciated :)


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